Dr Sanjoy Mukerji, psychologist and marriage counselor shares tips to get over jealousy in relationships
Jealousy is nothing but obsessive inferiority complex. We often fail to understand the existence of jealousy in us and it is even difficult to discern the cause of it. In relationship, it is important to know that jealousy will not only break the bond but will also take a toll on oneself. It commences at a small level such as disliking your partner looking elsewhere and can lead to over possessive behavior like trying to control your partner. You need to percolate one thing in you, be your best and your spouse eventually will realize it, if in case s/he isn’t.
Here are few effects of jealousy and tips to get over it.
Low on self esteem: Some people compare themselves with everyone his/her partner talks about. S/he is generally talking about them you don’t have to take too seriously and get paranoid with it. Talking about them doesn’t mean you are of any less importance. Comparing yourself with someone does no good; you are only degrading yourself. The reason your partner is with you is because you are ‘the one’ but that doesn’t mean you will be on your partner’s mind all the time. Your other half is permitted to talk about someone other than you, take it as a healthy conversation.
Fading appearance: Stop over thinking on every little thing, If s/he is on another call, s/he is probably talking to his boss or client or some friend or family member; you don’t have to know everything, it’s practically impossible. Just take it as s/he is ‘busy’ get back to your work and call back later or even better to wait for them to get back to you. Burdening yourself with redundant thoughts and worrying about him/ her will languish your personality. Best way to tackle this problem is to keep your mind engaged doing something productive.
A loner: There are times when we all feel lonely but getting over it is equally vital. You can’t hold on to something for too long. Quarrels may occur, don’t judge your partner on the basis of arguments. People tend to have temperament so give yourself some time and go for a walk to get over it and once you’re back be a matured person to let go of the grudge. Being a loner is not required.
Nagging: Giving space in relationship is enormously substantial. Extraordinary relation subsists when there is a breather. Not always you have to go out together. Meet your friends and let your partner meet his/her, it brings life in a relationship. If you are suspicious about your partner’s fidelity, have it cleared calmly. Don’t dramatize it. It might be nothing but your illusion.
Depression: Mountain of various thoughts will lead to depression. Life is simple don’t complicate it with gloomy thoughts. Believe in yourself and think ‘you are a beautiful creation of god’ that will help you going in any situation.