If you’ve suffered a breakup and are now realizing that you made a huge mistake then chances are you’re wondering how you can get your ex back. I’ll say this upfront, no plan is foolproof or guaranteed but, if you follow these simple tips, you’ll find yourself that bit closer to reuniting with your ex.
Consider If You Really Want Him Back
First and foremost, take a while to think over exactly why you broke up. What went wrong? Was it him? Was it you? Were you just incompatible? I’m not just suggesting you quickly take a minute to think over all this either – take a day, take a week, as long as it takes for you to know exactly what went wrong and why and if it’s something the two of you could work on.
Now that you’ve come to terms with exactly where your relationship hit the rocks, reconsider if you really want him back? Was he good to you? Did you have a lot in common? Most importantly, why do you want him back? If you just want him back for the sake of your pride or because you’re lonely then you might as well quit while you’re ahead. You have to want him back because you miss him, not the pair of you as a couple or simple the feeling of being in a relationship. You have to be head over heels for him and know that you made a terrible mistake by letting him go. And you have to know that you’ll do whatever it takes to make the relationship work this time around.
Are you sure you want him back? If the answer to that was yes then keep reading.
Go Back To The Beginning
What was it about you that made him fall in love with you? If you know the answer then now consider if you still have all those traits, are you still the same person you were back then? If not, are you able to bring back what he loved about you and is it even a good idea? People change for a lot of reasons but if you’ve changed for the better then maybe it’s not a great idea changing back just for him.
If you think you can go back to being the girl you used to be, use that to your advantage and show him that. Fingers crossed he’ll fall in love all over again.
Plan What You’re Going To Say
If you’ve plucked up the courage to go and speak to him, make sure you know exactly what you’re going to say ahead of time. Your first words could either make or break your plan so consider them carefully. You don’t want to sound desperate or creepy but nor do you want to sound like you don’t care. Try saying something casual, something friendly and say it with a smile. And remember not to be scared or shy, don’t show you’re upset without him. You want him to know you miss him but not that you’re a little lost without him.
Remind Him Of The Good Times
Reminding him of all the great things about the two of you together is a great way to get him thinking of the idea of getting back together. When you’re talking to him, tell him you just walked passed the restaurant you used to love and that it got you thinking about all the great times you had there (even better if you can give specific examples). If you’re not talking to him in person you could always send a text or an email saying you just saw something that reminded you of him and it got you wondering how he was. It’s a great way to open contact and it won’t make him feel pressured.
If you’re talking to him in person, consider wearing the top you wore on your first date or the jacket you wore when you went for a romantic starlit walk. Wear anything you can that will remind him of specific time or place. This is a subtle way to get the cogs in his mind turning without him realizing what you’re up to.
Plan A ‘Date’
If you’ve decided to stay friends with him, why not get the ball rolling by asking him if he fancies going to the cinema with you or going bowling. Go somewhere that you can hang out as friends but will also be suitable for a first date. Having fun together will remind him of all the good times and it will prove that the pair of you can be together without whatever issues tore you apart. If the ‘date’ goes really well, why not ask him to walk you home or ask if he’d like to do it again sometime?
Throughout all of these steps, listen to what your ex is saying. Don’t just listen to the words, listen to how he’s saying them. He may say he still wants to be friends but, if he’s just trying to be nice, you’ll be able to hear it in his voice. His every move and word will give off a subtle hint as to whether he’s still interested in you or not, just make sure you look and listen closely in case you wind up going on a wild goose chase.
I know from experience that after a break up it can be easy to let yourself go a bit. Perhaps you spend most of your time in sweats or haven’t done anything with your hair, maybe you haven’t worn makeup in weeks and have been overindulging in chocolate. Either way, whether you want your ex back or not, you need to get a grip (Sorry about the tough love! It helps, honest!). Make an effort every day no matter if people will see you or not. Not only will your ex love how great you look, he’ll also love the self confidence that’s radiating from you over how you look. Win, win!
Ask Him To Talk
If you think enough time has passed that the two of you can be grown ups and talk things over, invite him to talk about everything with you. Tell him you just need to get a bit more perspective and understanding of what went wrong. While you’re talking would be a good time to express your doubts about the break up. Ask him is it possible for the pair of you to work through it? I know you’re scared but just remember the worst he can say is no. If he does, you’re no worse off than you were before the situation and you’ll know better where you stand.
Throw Yourself Into Other Things
Now’s the time to join that aerobics class you fancied or start going out with your friends more. When you break up with a guy it can be hard to focus on anything else. It feels like your world is collapsing so how could you possibly do anything normal with that going on? The honest answer is that you just have to get on with it. Life doesn’t stop just because you’re suddenly single. Taking up walking or swimming can be a great way to clear your mind. It doesn’t matter what you do, just do it. Do anything to take your mind off of your ex. You’ll feel much better and when he sees that you’re doing just fine without him his attention in you will be spiked once again.
No matter how hopeless the situation may seem, don’t give up hope. No situation is hopeless. The two of you getting back together may be a long shot but trust me when I say that stranger things have happened. Couples who’ve probably been through a hell of a lot worse than you reunite every day. You’ve probably heard the saying before but I think now’s a great time to throw it out there – love conquers all. Believe it or not, it’s true. If the pair of you are meant to be then you’ll find a way to be together. Fate works in mysterious ways.
Have A Good Reason Why
When the two of you get to the part where you discuss the possibility of getting back together, you need to have a good reason why. Even before this you need to know why simply for your own sake but not your ex needs a reason too. You can’t just tell him you’re lonely, you miss him or you’ll never find anyone better. Those reasons are lame. You need a valid reason. Consider why you broke up. Were you happy most of the time you were together? Did you want the same things in life? Be prepared to explain yourself in full to him. You may wonder why I’m not going over reasons he should be giving but just remember, it’s you looking to get him back, not the other way around (even id he does feel the same way).
Unfortunately, I can’ guarantee success. While no situation is hopeless, some are closer to it than others. Feelings aren’t something you can manipulate so if you’re ex simply isn’t interested then you’re best to leave it at that. He’s not worth your time if he can’t see how great you are and what an amazing woman he lost. If you get him back, great, well done you! If not, it’s not the end of the world. There’s someone out there for everyone, sometimes you just have to wait a little while until the come along. Trust me though, whoever your Prince Charming is will be worth the wait.