In order to get what you want, you have to give what they want. That’s not your reason for giving, it’s just a selfless way of functioning in your relationship. It is the best way to function in your relationship. If you have a hard time giving up some things for the relationship you truly want, then maybe you truly don’t want it, and you should remain single until you are ready to do that. Here are 10 things you should give up to gain a great relationship:

1. Comparisons to old relationships The more you hold onto this, the less you’ll see about your current relationship

2. Alcohol This doesn’t apply to all, but it applies to some. The way some people carry themselves when drinking can be a problem.

3. The club I’ve seen so many people on Facebook complaining about not having a relationship, but all their posts show them in the club. That’s not the place to find or keep a great relationship.

4. Contact with old flames Need I say more?

5. Some of your friends Not all of your friends are good for your relationship. This is a tough one, but sometimes it is a necessary one.

6. Bad spending habits Money problems are a big contributor to the high divorce rates. Alternating your spending habits and getting rid of the bad ones is a must.

7. Secrets At some point to crossover from good to great in a relationship, there has to be some transparency. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing what is closest to you, then you may need to wait.

8. Pet peeves Let’s be honest: Some of your pet peeves aren’t really that deep. At least bend a little in this area, but if you can completely give them up, then give them up.

9. Your ideas of how relationships work Coming into a relationship with certain expectations and thinking it is supposed to go just like that is a set up for failure. Scrap your old ideas and create new ones together.

10. Anything unimportant that will separate the two of you We allow many things to come between us. Some are silly, some are serious. If it’s not that important and it keeps you from going good to great, then give it up.