This is a telltale sign of grooming — the earlier he tells you what he thinks you want to hear, the easier it is for him to get you to put up with his garbage down the line.
I am not talking about the necessary discussions about marriage and children that couples should have at some point; you need to know that you and your significant other are on the same page about these huge issues.
Rather, I am referring to those far-too-early discussions about marriage and children in which he addresses, specifically, marriage to you and children with you; despite what he (and you) may believe.
Those attempts at manipulation are not cute or endearing; they should be interpreted as the red flags that they are.
The guy who needs to control your physical space.
He’s the guy who barricades a door so you cannot leave a room during an argument until you have allowed him to talk circles around an issue he created.
This is a guy who is used to being given opportunities to talk his way out of situations.
The guy who does not respect you, your boundaries or your physical space.
He’s the guy who does not leave your dorm/apartment/home when you’ve asked him to. The same goes for the guy who shows up to your home when you have explicitly asked him not to.
None of this is cute or endearing. It is offensive and an abuse of your boundaries.
The guy who has something to hide.
He’s the guy who is not honest about who his friends are. There is no other interpretation for this.
The guy with clear control issues.
He’s the guy who goes out of his way to say and do things that annoy you. He needs to know that he can manipulate you successfully, and this is one small way to test it.
The guy who’s deeply uncomfortable with his own life choices.
He’s the guy who says nasty and hurtful things about your major and or career in a way beyond innocent teasing.
The guy who is a master manipulator.
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