Your spouse may not share their heart for many reasons. This article only shares three reasons. Check your own situation. One of these three reasons may fit, however it may be something else that is causing your mate to shut down, not talk, or just go along to get along. You can start the process to find out what it is. This is a place to begin:
A safe place has not been created
In order for someone to share the true depths of their heart they need to feel safe. Create this by deciding beforehand what is acceptable and desired in your safe place. Are voices raised here? Are bad names called? Are ideas shot down? These things don’t create safety. Remove them from your home; work together to create a safe haven. It takes trust, willingness, and patience from both partners. When your spouse feels safe, they are more likely to allow you into their world.
Past misfortune can shut down today’s conversations
Past experience may be yelling, cursing, and dismissing each other’s feelings. If this is the norm of the past, it speaks loudly to your spouse. Past misfortune can shut down today’s conversations. Do something to make a change. By sowing seeds of life into your marriage, you create a present, past, and future filled with love. There should be no more yelling, cursing and dismissing each other. Set a precedence, make a declaration that you will do things today that will create memories that bring joy and hope into your marriage.
They don’t think their thoughts will change anything
Why share if you don’t believe anyone is listening? Why share if you think it will not make a difference to the situation at hand. How do you change this? Begin by being an active listener. Make an effort to understand your mate’s position even when you disagree with their thought. Show their heartfelt thoughts and opinions matter even when you have differing opinions.
Work to create harmony together in your home so that in big or small things, your mate is comfortable allowing you to be the first person they share their thoughts and experiences with.