Do you ever feel like your life is out of balance? You hate your job, your husband is getting on your last nerve, the kids are driving you nuts, and no matter how much you try to stick to your budget, some unexpected expense always comes up. I’ve been there—feeling like no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to get everything right.

When life gets like this, handing me problem after problem, my stress level goes through the roof. The headaches increase, I can’t find time to workout, sugar becomes my best friend, and figuring out the best way to move forward is a challenge.

When we allow stress to take over our lives, it begins to have a negative impact on all our relationships. Most importantly, it has a negative impact on our marriage. Often we don’t know what’s happening because it just creeps up on us, but our spouses see it. We snap at them unnecessarily. We jump to conclusions instead of communicating effectively. We expect them to know what’s wrong when we never took the time to really tell them.

To have a healthy marriage, you have to be healthy. If you think your marriage can thrive while you live in chaos, it just won’t happen. Stress has a tremendous impact on your way of being, and your way of being plays a huge role in the state of your union.

Here are a few tips to help you get yourself back on track and fight the stress that is draining you. Once your find yourself in a better place—mentally, physically, emotionally—you will finding that strengthening your marriage becomes a lot easier.

1. Just breathe

Breathing exercises are actually the easiest way to begin to combat stress. Sure, focusing on your breathing doesn’t eliminate the source of your stress, but it serves as a wonderful tool in stressful moments and can give you the clarity you need.

2. Stop trying to control others

Often, our greatest source of stress comes from insisting that people behave how we would like them to behave. If we used our energy to change ourselves, rather than focusing on others, our stress would decrease. You truly can’t change anyone but yourself.

3. Connect with your friends

Your friends can’t fix things, but they can sure help you relax and put things in perspective. A night out with your friends may be just what you need.

4. Change your sleeping habits

Stress can worsen if you aren’t sleeping enough, or if the sleep you get is not quality sleep. Consider changing some of your rituals before bed and figure out ways to get more sleep.

5. Get pampered

Everyone, even men, need to get pampered at times. When you neglect to take care of yourself, it is inevitable that every area of your life will begin to suffer. Self-care should always be a priority.

6. Communicate with your spouse

I can’t even begin to tell you how much stress marriages face because of a lack of communication. If you and your spouse are not communicating well, you have to get to the bottom of the issue sooner rather than later. Healthy communicate always alleviates stress—in any area of your life.