Most of us say we want a relationship. And it has become a more complicated issue, as dating rules seem to be continually evolving and changes due to technological advances and shifts in social behavior. But for many, the question may actually be this: are you really ready to be in a relationship? Here are 10 questions to ask yourself. And be truthful with your answers.

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1. Are you pissed off at men? You may need to heal from past hurts before you embark on a new relationship.

2. Do you make excuses to avoid dates with serious contenders? Listen to yourself… do you say things like, “He’s too tall” or “I don’t like the way he wears his hair.” If you are not being open to guys for the silliest things, you may be the problem.

3. Do you think that you are so independent that you don’t need a man? It’s cool to be able to take care of yourself, but allowing a man in doesn’t mean you have to give that up.

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4. Are you afraid of falling in love because you could get hurt? It happens. Most people go through at least one breakup before they find the one that they want to be with. It’s part of growing and learning and finding out what you really want in a man.

5. Are you always waiting for something to go wrong? If you are one of those people who see the glass as half empty rather than half full, that may be a problem. You have to believe that there are good men out there.

6. Are you afraid to trust a man? Not all men are cheaters. Don’t let past betrayals cloud what you think of all men.

7. Do you try to do things that are distractive when it comes to becoming physically intimate? Affection and lovemaking are an integral part of a successful relationship.

8. Do you hesitate to talk about your feelings? Intimacy involves more than physical activity – it also involves a willingness to share feelings.

9. Are you one of those people who think that someone better might come along? Is that fair to whomever you are dating?

10. Are you afraid that a serious relationship will place too many burdens or expectations on you? Any good relationship involves give and take, but if you are not interested in compromising now and then, you are not relationship material.

If you answered “yes” to some of these questions, then it’s time to stop complaining and make the changes that will put you in the position to be receptive to a REAL relationship.