Yes, I know I am a 20-some-odd year old Nigerian fella, so I am probably not the best to give advice to any woman.
But allow!! From watching my awesome female friends, sisters, mother, aunties, and girlfriends (hmm…hmm) over the years, these are the 10 things I believe our Nigerians queens should never fear ever again!
1. Whether you are a “Wifey Material” or not.
The idear of a ‘wife material’ is really a myth. Just believe that you will be the right and perfect woman for the man who values, appreciates, loves and respect you irrespective of your shortcomings. It’s OK to have a personality, it’s OK to be the career woman you strive to be. These shouldn’t hinder your search for your life partner. Seriously, you will be the right material for the right man!#Datsorr!
2. Surviving a male-dominated industry.
It is not the 1800’s anymore, as P Square eloquently sang “What a man can do, a woman can do”. The truth is, women are growing across all industries; music, politics, engineering, IT etc. It is OK to rub shoulders with the guys, you are just as brilliant and competent as the next guy. Command your respect, add your ideas to the conversation. Never let the opportunity slip by because you are a woman!
3. Whether to choose between a dream career or a family.
I take my hats off to my mother everyday, juggling a full-time job and family responsibilities is not a joke, especially when you have children like myself and my siblings (I hope they don’t read this ). Don’t worry about having that dream career or a family, go for it, you can do it! You can be anything you want if you put your mind to it! Go for your dreams, trust me your family will even be super proud of you!
4. Your sexuality.
So what if you have big hips? So what if you have the type of behind that…(ei sorry I lost track). Be bold and exhibit your sexuality the way you want to. Wear that jeans, paint your nails the way you want, it is your body, its your choice, it is what you want to do so embrace your sexuality as the proud woman you are. No ‘I’m aware, please’.
5. The changing of your body.
It’s natural for your body to go through changes as you get old. As you mold into the great woman you are, guess what? Your body gets its fair share too. Don’t let that keep you down. Love yourself, that is how God made you, it’s a waste time to fight off some of your physical appearances as you age. Spend that time growing in wisdom and change your world.
6. Being unsure about having children.
This is hard in our part of the world, yes I get it. But the reality is, not every woman wants children, and that’s OK! Do not feel bad or lonely about it, trust me a lot of your friends feel the same way too but they are just scared to confront it. Not wanting children does not make you less of a woman than the triplets-mom. You are not cruel either! Look, it is your life, live it how you wanna!
7. Your appearance affecting how other people treat you.
They call it ‘swag’ these days, but I will keep it simple – STYLE! Everyone in this world is unique in their own way. You don’t have to dress more or less feminine to be acceptable really. You don’t have to dress a certain way to fit into someone’s ideal of what a ‘young woman’ should look like. Thinking about putting on make up? Go ahead! How about that lipstick? Like Nike, Just Do It!
8. Starting over.
Amakye Dede said “y3 ntena faako ngye animguase3″. It is OK as a woman to hit the reset button and begin elsewhere. Take that leap of faith, regroup and start that life you so desire over. You don’t have to live at one particular place, do the same job, or keep dating that guy. Move on…
9. Taking chances.
“If you don’t take risk, you can’t create the future”. That is one of the best quotes I live my life by. You should too, after all the only certainty in life is DEATH! Do not ever let anyone tell you NO – women can’t/shouldn’t do that. Go for it, and shine while you at it!
10. Having strong opinions.
I see it all the time, our lovely Nigerian women zipping it up because the are afraid to have an alternative. Really? What are you afraid of? Making others mad? Your friends going away? Anyone that will looks at you weird for your passionate views are people you should stay away from anyway. Always stand up for what you believe in, speak up in a respectable manner. You are entitled to having your own opinions, the world needs to know, I for one wants to know. The world is shaped and moved by people who are passionate about the things they do!