It’s critical not to reach out to an ex after breakup. But although we all know it’s the wisest way forward, very few of us can actually manage to keep our fingers off the phone. If you’re wavering, here are some reminders to help you win the fight:
1. The relationship was a relationshit. Right now, as your head keeps conjuring up images of the good times, the bad stuff doesn’t seem so bad. But the second you sleep with him, it’ll all come rushing back. That’s just the way it works. So don’t give in to the post-breakup mindfuck. Exercise discipline and save yourself from the inevitable “Ugh. I can’t believe I’m back where I was with this asshole.” Move away from the phone.
2. He doesn’t deserve that moment of smug satisfaction. When he looks at his phone and sees your little note, he immediately thinks, “She wants me.” Do you really want to give him that? Remember: This is the person who [insert the worst thing he did to you here]. Don’t give that guy a feeling of victory.
3. That day when you realize you’re totally over him is AMAZING — let it happen. After a break up, your ex seems like the only guy you could ever be with. In the not-so-distant future, you won’t even be able to explain wtf you were doing with him. It’s soooo liberating to get to that point of total recovery. So, put down the phone and let it come… The sooner you do, the faster you’ll achieve the life — and love — you really want.
4. Seeking closure is just a form of torture. When someone says they need closure, what they’re really saying is that they’re not sure it’s over — they need to talk to their ex to confirm that it’s REALLY over before they can move on. In other words, they need to be broken up with twice. Really?? Why would you do that to yourself? You know it’s over. Just suffer through it until you get to the moment we mentioned in #3. You’re almost there.
5. Texting him immediately diminishes your hotness. As long as you’re not in contact, he has no idea what you’re up to or what you’re thinking. For all he knows, you’re totally over it and haven’t given him a second thought, which makes you more desirable. By reaching out, you immediately kill that illusion. In an instant, you go from the girl who’s looking better and better with every passing day to the girl he wasn’t all that into.
6. Reaching out to him says he’s the best you can do. We’re guessing he cheated on you, took you for granted, or just didn’t make you feel wanted, all of which suck. You deserve better but reaching out to your ex suggests you don’t. There are so many fantastic men out there — you should be spending your time exploring them. The sooner you do that, the sooner you’ll be blowing off texts from your ex because you’ll be crushing on someone new.