There’s nothing some people won’t do for love. Unfortunately, that too often includes horrendous money decisions, the kinds that can destroy both your financial health and your relationships. (Those who think love and money have nothing to do with each other have probably never been through a divorce.) The sad truth is relationships are harmed when one person is over-invested financially (and thus, emotionally) while the other has little or nothing invested.

Here are some examples:

You’ve conditioned the object of your affection to expect you to pay for everything—in fact, he or she has come to believe that your money is their money. Of course, their money is still theirs, not yours.

You’re so eager to get a marriage proposal that you are willing to finance the rings, the wedding and the honeymoon, without requiring your fiancee to share any of the effort or expense.

You are down to make your new “boo” an authorized user on your credit card. Even though you just removed your last boo as an authorized user.

If you are doing these and similar things, you are overinvested in your relationships. This is unhealthy—thus, not Grown—and potentially devastating for your finances. If you feel you have to buy love, loyalty and respect, you’ll never be able to afford it. This is why we constantly remind you that your money—in addition to your body, heart and home—are among the last things you should grant access to in a new relationship, before you have taken time to allow a romantic interest to show you who they truly are.