“Frenemies” or “Friends+Enemies”! Does this word aptly describe your rapport with your husband’s friends? Candidly, the reason is that you love the same person (of course, in different ways though!).
Whether they admit or not, for most women there is always an unspoken clash between them and their husband’s friends, which is at times difficult to bridge. But it is not an arduous task to end this so called “cold war”. It just takes a tinge of understanding and compassion to make things easier. You can make your husband’s friends adore you and respect you from their heart if you try. Well, allow us to show you ways to do it.
1. Learn to accept them
Nobody likes to be judged. So, it would be kind of you if you stop judging your spouse’s friends. You might argue that you never tell them anything on their faces, but the truth is that your rolling eye speaks a lot more. It does not mean that you have to like all your husband’s buddies, but you can at the most accept them as they are and be grateful that they have supported your husband always. After all, there must be something about them that makes them a part of your spouse’s life.
2. Let your husband enjoy with them
Don’t get threatened by the amount of time your sweetheart spends with his pals. Just like you, he too needs some “me” time. If you are buzzing him incessantly with phones and messages when he is with his friends, you are not only annoying his friends but also testing your partner’s patience. All that his friends will speculate is that you are either too insecure or lack trust in your husband, or you don’t like him hanging out with them. So, take this hint and let him have a gala time with his buddies once in a while. We are sure; in return he will be only grateful to you.
3. Never belittle your husband in their presence
When your husband has a gang of loyal friends, they will never tolerate you snubbing him in public. They might always defend him, even if it meant attacking you. So, how much ever unhappy you are with your husband’s frivolous spending or his infuriating habits, you don’t need to spill the beans in front of everyone. Let those things best discussed behind the doors. Your friends will appreciate you when you admire your husband for what he is and will always be.
4. When with them, be yourself
When you decide to hang out with your husband and his friends, it is noteworthy to be as natural as you are. They like you just the way you are. You need not do anything to impress them by going over the top. So, do not try to grab those eyeballs or ask for special attention by throwing unnecessary tantrums.
5. Some try-worthy tips
It is, needless to say that you need to bring sea change in your attitude from “you versus them” to “you and them” to accept each other for good. Follow these simple tips:
- Always be generous to them when they call, instead of being cold and merely passing the phone to your husband, ask them about their well-being.
- Don’t read your husband’s friends messages on the phone. Let men’s talk be private and confidential.
- Make sure you do not always call off their well-planned hangouts for silly reasons.
- And, do accompany them when they genuinely want you to come with them.
So the next time when you reproach your husband’s friend or snub them, just put yourself in your husband’s place. Sometimes it is earnest to appreciate that both the relationships are equally important for your husband and at the same time both are irreplaceable. Its better you build bridges rather than burn them