Behold the selfie; that bold and wonderful homage to narcissism. What did we all do before we had iPhones and could take photos of ourselves anywhere at any time no matter the circumstances or if good taste was involved? How did we manage to not snap a quick shot in front of a burning building, at someone’s funeral, or in a public bathroom as the guy next to us was taking a whiz? We shutter (rim shot) to think what modern life would be like if we couldn’t document the amazing, the frightening, the absurd.
And speaking of absurd, here are SOME of the worst selfies of all time.
We’re hoping this is not a joke, that this person actually exists, and that they were 100% “for real” when they took this selfie. The pink smart phone gives us hope that indeed SuperFem is real and out there, somewhere, perhaps snapping a selfie wearing a flowered pillowcase and holding a giant pink stapler right this very minute. We may never know the true identity, or gender, of SuperFem, but we can all rest a bit easier knowing he or she is delusional.
Youth of America we beg of you, please don’t selfie with your mouth full! We understand in the moment that it seems like a funny idea to mess up your face, open your mouth full of… whatever the hell that stuff is (any guesses? We vote a mouth full of pickle) and SNAP! Yes, that’s good fun. But why would you actually go through with posting it online? It makes no sense.
You of course know about the hot trend where people tape their faces with scotch tape to distort them, then take a selfie, or what is better known as a “sellofie” after sello tape, and share it on their social media page. This woman loves the pouty lips effect she was able to accomplish.
There are only three scenarios we can guess are going on in this photo: 1) below him, just out of frame, is a rabid, snarling miniature dachshund 2) he’s auditioning for the role of koala bear in the school play or 3) he’s just weird. Seriously, just what the hell is going on with the youth of today?
Ok, are you thinking what we’re thinking? Take a close look at the short hair, position of the mouth, ample booty and thighs… Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, we’re looking at SuperFem out of costume? Have you ever seen SuperFem and this woman in the same place at the same time? We rest our case.
We’ve all been here, right? You’re just sitting there minding your own business trying to do your business when a friend or perfect stranger decides to capture the moment. Um, also, are those bruises on that young girl’s thigh??? Please tell us that’s a funky tattoo and not bruises.
Hey, if your grandmother looked exactly like Tyler Perry A.K.A. Madea, you’d want a selfie at her funeral too. All is not lost or disrespectful though because this young gentleman did wear a lovely argyle sweater which, we guess, makes up for the fact that he’s posing with a dead relative. Rest in PEACE!