It’s obvious that relationships are now crossing borders and happy homes are being formed all over the world. It’s obvious that there’s now a better understanding that NO ONE should be judged by the color of their skin, accent or culture in our quest to approve and establish love in its true identity. With that little but good feeling, I’m spurred to write these words as my endorsement of cross-border relationships. Please be aware that in this enlightened society that we operate, your (wo)man may not make any importance of their culture as it could be portrayed as being irrelevant. Now, it’s wisdom for you not to accept such submission if you really want to enjoy your wo(man) plus their family. As beautiful and romantic as cross-border relationship is, there are some things i need to identify to help you manage your relationship like a boss.

The Basics of the Language
I’m sure no one would expect you to speak a new language fluently, but all you need to do is to understand and be able to speak at least the basics – greetings, compliments and others that could be necessary.

The Food
You can hire someone to teach you on some of the favorite meals of your spouse’s family or ask any of his siblings or even his mother. That could be a total acceptance! In another way, you could learn it elsewhere, not necessary from any of his family members and make it a surprise pack to his parents. It does work! There’s this smooth affection that comes along with seeing people from other background/culture do what we like or love in our own culture. Mind you, no one would expect this to be regular as it could be strenuous to prepare some indigenous meals, but it’s important you get to learn some of these dishes for family bonding.

The Clothing
Rocking a wear identified with your partner’s culture is a score-high. To you, its fun, to him, it’s romantic, to his family, it’s an approval. Wearing such apparels, affirms your conformity to the family beliefs and it’s just another way of winning their hearts to your side. Try it to an occasion hosted by the family or during their visit. It works!

Go on Vacation
Yes! Not just anywhere but somewhere related to your partner’s origin. Have a feeling of their lifestyle, how they reason and their perspective about certain things. Open your heart and be ready to learn, be ready to do some funny things for fun, be ready to let go of some of your fore-knowledge, beliefs or impressions about their tribe or culture and accept the reality of who your partner’s people are . . . don’t be stiff! 

Not Just Your Wo-Man
It’s a difficult side to be in a relationship when you only love or you’re concerned about your wo(man) alone. What you should seek regardless of your gender is some family acceptance. Don’t be fooled by the love you both shared as there are situations that will arise and at such times, you would need the family’s help. Don’t elope or try to be possessive of your man or woman, don’t lock-out your partner on his/her family. Don’t ever try making him go against his parents just to win him entirely over. Love your partner alongside their family, don’t get too worry if you don’t receive love in return from the entire family, at least, the major part of their family should matter to you and that’s the best side to be. 

The Mindset
Because of our beliefs, we’ve formed a deep and different opinion of some tribes, cultures or the whole country. Our perspective of their ways of life could be in contrast to that of our partner if we found love in such places. Some years ago, I was surfing the internet and I came across the pictures of the South-African Zulu girls performing their traditional dance (Zulu reed dance) and i think this is done without covering their chests. Indeed, that was some crazy culture to me but what if I’d found love or had a relationship with a lady from that culture; I probably would have had a change of mind. Some tribes, countries are known for some certain identities – some ridiculous, some disgusting while others could be damn scary. You need to know about those things as well as your partner’s opinion toward them and if you’ve ever had a negative opinion of them, you could try and change so as to avoid conflicts of interest in your relationship. You never can tell if he would suddenly ask you to go with him and celebrate some festival in his home-town. Maybe not that, I’ve heard of a culture where the woman MUST be on her knees before serving the meal of her man. You may be quick to say that’s ridiculous, but get to know about these things and if you can, get acquitted to it by forming a new opinion of your partner’s culture and traditions. The ugly twist to these, is that your partner may not be sensitive to any of them since (s)he could have formed a different or civilized opinion of “how things should be” thereby ignoring the traditions. But be aware that his/her family will not forgive such ignorance or the newly developed opinion and things could be done as usual. There is a place of love and there’s a place of culture and traditions, both could go smoothly if well understood. I support cross-border relationships and here’s my endorsement!