“I’m sorry” can be tough sometimes. If you want to keep the peace in
your home however, learning how to apologize the right way is an
essential skill every husband and wife should master. Here’s a quick
list of tips on how to apologize and get it ri,ght every time, so you can
stay out of trouble and stay in the loving arms of your spouse!

1. Say it Like You Mean It

This is the first one because it’s the most obvious! Don’t apologize if
you don’t mean it. Doing that will only make the problem or whatever may
have occurred that warranted the apology worse. Being insincere with an
apology is the same as not apologizing at all.

2. Make Eye Contact

Always look the person in the eye. This allows for you to make a
connection and truly communicate your sincerity. Don’t fidget or
flounder about when it’s time to speak up. Look him or her in the eye
and speak from the heart.

3. Watch Your Non-Verbals

So much of how we communicate and subsequently how it’s received has to
do with how things are said. Have you heard the phrase, “It’s not what
you say, but how you say it?” Your nonverbal communication cues play a
role in that.

If you are trying to apologize to your spouse, be mindful of your facial
expressions, doing things like rolling your eyes, or presenting
defensive body language (like standing with your arms folded). Sending
certain nonverbal cues may overshadow the intention of your apology.

4. Don’t Say, “I’m sorry, but…”

The word “but” is about to negate everything you said in the seconds
before it came out of your mouth. “I’m sorry, but…you’re wrong,” or “I’m
sorry if you were offended, but…” No. Don’t do that! It’s better to
say, “I’m sorry and…{I won’t do it again}.” Replacing that “but” with
the “and” demonstrates that you’re willing to take ownership and
responsibility for what you did and return to good standing with the one
you love.

5. Be Sensitive to Her Feelings

When you apologize, it tells your spouse that you care about their
feelings. Even if you don’t understand right away what you did wrong or
why your spouse is upset. If they communicate to you that their feelings
are hurt, apologizing for that alone can go a long way. Apologizing in a
timely manner also helps to show that you care.

6. Allow Him the Time to Accept

There’s nothing worse than being on the receiving end of an apology and
then immediately afterward being expected to say, “I accept your
apology.” Sometimes it may be that simple and you both can move on.
Other times, he may need a moment or two to sort through his feelings
(naturally, this would depend on the severity of the offense). Apologize
to make it right, not simply to make yourself feel better or accelerate
a resolution.

7. Lead by Example

If all else fails, give the kind of apology you would like to receive.
Don’t do it as a way to one-up your spouse and try to show them how much
better at it you are then they are. Instead, it’s more like following
the golden rule of treating others the way you want to be treated. In
time, hopefully your spouse will follow suit and you’ll both be on your
way toward communicating more effectively.

8. Take It Seriously

Laughing or joking around when you apologize in an effort to ease
tensions usually isn’t very effective. That type of behavior can give
the impression to your spouse that you don’t care about how they feel
and are not taking the issue seriously. Don’t let that be the case. Save
the silliness for after things have been smoothed over.

It may take some time and practice, but if you follow these tips and
always communicate from a place of sincerity and good intention, you’ll
be a pro at it apologizing the right way! Your spouse will thank you for
it and your marriage will thrive because of it!