So you’ve been in a relationship for quite some time- we’re talking weeks, months, years- and you still haven’t gotten the ring. He tells you he loves you and you’re sure he’s the man for you. You want to spend the rest of your life with him, but he just hasn’t gotten down on one knee yet. What are you doing wrong? Check out these 7 must know tips on how to get him to propose!
1. First Find Out: Does He Want to Get Married?
Men aren’t like women. Women (for the most part) are on a mission to find the man of their dreams, settle down in the perfect home, and chase after cute little rugrats with dinner on the table for their partner every night. But a lot of men are afraid- or should I say petrified- of the thought of marriage, and would rather avoid it altogether. Before you even think about a future saying ‘I do’ on the altar with your boyfriend, you need to first find if he even wants to get married. And hey, some guys just don’t. So if he says absolutely not, don’t take it offensively.
2. Evaluate: Is it the Right Time to Get Married?
You could take this a lot of different ways. First and foremost, are the two of you ready for this type of commitment? You need to make sure you know him well enough to be able to spend the rest of your life with him. After all, if you find out something you absolutely despise later on in the marriage, it could be grounds for divorce. Make sure the two of you know each other extremely well and have reached a certain connection that can’t be broken.
Secondly, you need to look at finances. A wedding typically costs a few thousand dollars, and that’s not including the dress, wedding cake, seating, and everything else that goes into your dream wedding. This could lead to a hefty bill costing you well over ten thousand dollars. And aside from an expensive wedding, you have to think about how costly it is to rent an apartment/condo/house, on top of other bills like electricity, cellphones, water, trash- it adds up pretty quickly. Are the two of you financially ready for marriage?
Lastly, is it a good point in your guys’ lives where you’re ready to take the plunge? If you’re both on the young side, it might be best to wait it out a bit longer to make sure there’s no problems. Or if someone is planning to move off for college, you might want to wait till after they are done. Perhaps there was a traumatic event in one of your lives which would halt you from giving 100 percent to the wedding and marriage. If there isn’t a clear path for the two of you at the moment, wait until there is ‘sunny skies’ before making this type of life changing and time consuming commitment.
3. Think: Are You Pressuring Him?
If it’s been several months or years and he still hasn’t gotten down on one knee, you need to ask yourself this important question: are you pressuring him? Nothing scares a guy off from marriage more than a pressuring woman. He doesn’t want to be pressured (and don’t make me repeat myself!). This is not only scary to him, but is also a big turn off as you may come across as a needy gal. Don’t talk about your perfect wedding, don’t talk about when you want to get married, and most importantly don’t ask him when he is going to propose. He wants to be the man and make that huge decision on his own, so don’t pressure him!
However, if you do want to say at least one thing about your wedding dreams, let it be something in regards to your dream wedding ring. A lot of men halt their proposals for the simple fact that they don’t know what kind of ring to get their lady. The next time you two are walking through the mall and you come across a wedding shop, just casually mention which one you think is breathtaking. Then let it go and continue walking to the next shop. Totally casual, yet it will stick in his mind until he pops the question.
4. Think: Are You Dropping Subtle Hints?
There’s a difference between saying, “I wish we were married right this instant” and “I wouldn’t mind spending many more fun, exciting, and romantic years together”, just like there’s a difference between “Why haven’t you proposed to me yet” and “What age do you see yourself getting married”. It’s totally OK to drop subtle hints, or mask your pressuring questions with a simple question that doesn’t really give it away. Subtle hints are the best and it also gives him the confidence to ask for your hand in marriage. I know we don’t really think it, but men get scared too- and nobody wants to be rejected. These little hints just let him know you’d say yes, if the question were to come up at random.
5. Act: Are You Being the Woman in the Relationship?
If your guy doesn’t feel like the man in the relationship, there is no way he is going to propose. That would be like proposing to his best friend, his mom, or whatever else he may think of you as. This means you need to cut down on the nagging or controlling nature you might have, and let him take the reigns. Being the woman in the relationship means letting the man be the top dog in most situations. However, that doesn’t mean you let him control you or the relationship. This simply means that he feels he is the strong, protective man he is, and you are there for him no matter what.
6. Act: Do You Make Him a Better Man?
At the end of the day, men just want a woman they can come home to every night. A loyal woman who is there to take care of him, talk about his day, and make him smile. A lady who will stay by his side no matter what and always encourage him to do better. You need to make sure that you are that loyal, encouraging gal he’s always dreamed of, but be careful not to go overboard and act as a mother towards him.
7. Act: Looking Good is a Must
Men fall in love with what they see, not what they hear. And when you’ve been with someone for an extended period of time, you might start to get… “comfortable”. Which to me is just a nice way of saying gaining weight, wearing less makeup, and throwing your hair up in a ponytail every chance you get. If you want to keep him intrigued and enticed for many, many years to come, you need to keep things interesting and always look your best. This doesn’t mean you need to throw on a pair of stilettos and your sexiest red minidress with hair glammed up to next week, this simply means take care of yourself. Eat healthy, go to the gym often, and look good when it’s appropriate. To put it plainly, if it’s 6PM on a Saturday night and you’ve already got your footie pajamas on, we might need to have a talk.
8. Last Resort: Conversation
So you’ve tried everything, huh? You’ve tried dropping subtle hints. You are always by his side no matter what, constantly giving him the compliments and encouragement he needs- I mean, you even helped him get that huge promotion at work! But no matter what you do, he just won’t budge. Not to mention you’re both working amazing jobs and it couldn’t be a better time to get married. What gives?
If you’ve been waiting and waiting and still haven’t even heard the word ‘wife’ or ‘marriage’ come up in your man’s vocabulary, it might be time to sit down with your man and have a nice conversation about where you two stand in the relationship. Again, don’t come at him in a mean, nagging, or pressuring way. Simply ask him where he sees the relationship going. This is an easy, relaxed question that will give you the answer you need right away. He could have some evident reason he hasn’t asked you to marry him yet, or he might just be waiting for the perfect time. Whether he tells you what you want to hear or not, at least you can put an end to all of your questions.
There is nothing more aggravating, depressing, and annoying than being in a long term relationship and never hearing the words, “Will you marry me?” I can’t promise you these 7 tips will land you a husband, but I can tell you this: these ARE 7 of the most important things you can do to get closer to the ring. If after all this time and conversation you still haven’t tied the knot, it might be time to consider other options. However, I do wish you hear wedding bells in your near future.
Married women, what are some tips you could give that helped you get the ring? And for the girls wanting to tie the knot, did any of these tips help you?