Seeing your ex moving on is tough and it can quickly undo all of the progress you have made in getting over them. Here we show you 10 ways to deal with your ex moving on.
Don’t randomly get with someone else
Getting with someone new before you are over your ex will only highlight the fact that they are not your old boyfriend or girlfriend. They don’t kiss in the same way, they don’t laugh at the same jokes and they’re just not your ex. Inevitably this will make you feel worse about your breakup and you will feel like no one will ever be able to replace your ex, which isn’t true. Then before you know it you’ll have regressed back two steps and those post-breakup tracksuit bottoms will be calling you back to them.
Don’t agree to meet up if you’re not ready
If you bump into your ex and they invite you out for dinner or a drink with their new girlfriend or boyfriend do not agree to go unless you are 100 per cent over them. You won’t look weak or pathetic if you decline. Remember not to make up an excuse about why you can’t make the date though as they’ll only suggest another time and you’ll soon run out of believable excuses. Instead be honest and say: ‘I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m quite there yet.’ Then all you need to do is say goodbye and leave with your head held high.
Every single person who has ever broken up with a serious boyfriend or girlfriend feels terrible when the other person begins dating again. It’s normal and even if you thought you were completely over them you shouldn’t panic if you suddenly feel awful and upset. It’s a part of breaking up, albeit a horrible part, and everyone has to go through it at some point.
Don’t get back together with them
As we’ve said, everyone feels sad when an ex starts dating someone new. Don’t mistake this sadness as a sign that you should get back together with your ex though. The old problems that caused you to breakup are still there. If you suddenly feel the urge to ring them up and see if you can work things out, give it a few weeks or even months before you act on that urge. You’ll probably find that the feeling has faded and you were just panicking that you were losing them.
If your ex has got a new girlfriend or boyfriend the last thing you should do is compare yourself to their new partner. Many people feel like their ex’s new guy or girl is much better than them because they’ve managed to solve whatever issues you had with your ex, but this is nonsense. Just because your ex is seemingly okay with this new person, is not a reflection on you. It may simply mean they’ve changed or have realized the errors of their ways.
Don’t analyze the amount of time
Some people move on to new people very quickly and do so to get over their other half. Other people take a long time to recover from a relationship and choose to take things much slower when it comes to dating new people. Remember though, even if your ex moved on fast it does not detract from what you had together and it does not necessarily mean they loved you any less.
Don’t turn it into a competition
One of the worst things you can do is turn moving on into a competition and try to outdo your ex’s new guy or girl with an even ‘better’ new version of your ex. Not only will you look childish, immature and petty, it clearly tells your ex you are not over them and is bound to make them think badly of you.
Surround yourself with positive people
There are some people in life who make you feel great. When your ex starts dating someone new you need to gather up all of these people and go away with them. Spending some quality time away from your normal life and the environment you saw your ex in will give you a bit of space and clarity that can help you move on and feel better about your ex moving on.
Although you can’t run away from your problems, not going to places you know your ex will be (if it can be avoided) is wise until you feel a little bit better that your ex is dating someone new. If you are constantly bumping into the two of them that wound will never heal and you will find it even harder to move on.
Don’t finish with your new date
If you’ve been dating someone new and things were going well until you found out that your ex has got a new girlfriend or boyfriend, don’t feel like you have to break up with your new date just because you feel weird that your ex is moving on. Feeling weird is normal and it’s not a sign that your new date is a rebound. Give it some time and reassess your feelings after a month or two.