1. Taking it off and having red marks all over you like you were tied up with it.

2. You will always either have that weird gap where more boob should go or that spillover where too much boob doesn’t know where to go. Shouldn’t there be an in between where, you know, they’re just chilling in there?

3. Having literally no idea how often you’re supposed to wash it. My go-to is “when it smells,” which is very classy and works every time.


4. Throwing it in the washing machine is basically like throwing it into a room where someone shoots it to death. And this is why my “when it smells” thing is the way it is. You can’t risk that death just because you wore it one day. No, no, no. Plus, the only other alternative is…