Are you feeling the urge to purge those overstuffed closets of sweaters you haven’t worn in a year or those dresses that don’t fit you anymore? What about spring-cleaning those relationships that don’t fit you anymore either? Maybe you’ve been stuck in an unhappy relationship, or stuck in an unhealthy dating pattern, or you have an ex you just can’t let go of.
Even though you may have turned a blind eye toward the effect your love life has been having on you, it’s time to open up the curtains and shed some light on a situation that may not be best for you. Now’s the time to de-clutter your love life, so let’s clean out what’s not working and get some fresh perspective. Here are several great tips to sweep away the old and make room for an awesome fresh start. Clean out your mental closet Just like you wouldn’t wear the same shoes you had when you were 10 because they don’t fit you anymore, lose the negative self-talk that doesn’t fit you either. It could be tough to toss because you may have been carrying it around since you were a kid, but it’s just old chatter and it doesn’t fit with the woman you’re growing into. So purge any fear, anxiety, or self-criticism — anything that’s holding you back.
While you’re at it, lose any emotional baggage, as well. Pack up those suitcases full of guilt and regret and send them off on a one-way ticket so you can move forward, free and clear. Now add some positive thoughts, such as, “I’m smart,” “I’m talented,” and “I’m oh-so-fabulous.” Relationships reflect aspects of ourselves. So by sorting out your thoughts and replacing the bad with the good, you’ll attract better relationships, as well. Make room for better relationships Even though you may have ignored your boyfriend’s wandering eye, or his constant nitpicking, or his veiled insults, it’s time to make a change. Gather up the bad boys you keep dating, or the guy who keeps giving you mixed signals, or even those green-eyed, gossipy friends and get rid of them. Toss out anyone who (intentionally or otherwise) drags you down and makes you feel like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of someone else’s shoe. Remember, this is about clearing out the old to make way for the new.
So sweep away anyone who doesn’t support you, believe in you, or who’s not treating you well. Put them in a big pile and toss them out the door. By closing the door on unhealthy relationships, you’ll open doors for healthier relationships to step into your life. Only keep those relationships (and friendships) that are loving, supportive, and make you feel great. Clear away negative thoughts Is your head still cluttered with anger, hurt, or betrayal for that absent boyfriend, that cantankerous ex, or the hot date that turned into the Ice Man? Just like cleaning out bad thoughts about yourself, it’s crucial to clear out any bad thoughts about others, as well. Was your boyfriend a bonehead for not calling you? Yes. Was your ex a D-bag for sending you a breakup text? Yep. Was your date a jerk for freezing you out? Uh-huh.
But here’s the thing, do you want to be happy, or right? By not letting go, you are prolonging the pain. Holding on to resentment, rage, or bitterness toward him is like having him live rent-free in your head. So kick these bitter thoughts out and clear space to lead a happier life with a much better guy. Here’s your chance to get crystal clear. Take a look at past relationships and see where you may have compromised at the expense of yourself. Or where you may have fooled yourself into thinking you were a match when you actually weren’t. Or where you put up with ignored phone calls, his workaholic schedule, or how he constantly pushed your buttons.
This is the time to look at things you may have done or accepted in the past that didn’t feel good to you and to set healthy boundaries for the next relationship. And if you’re currently dating a guy who’s breaking an important deal-breaker (and is unwilling to change), why are you still dating him? It could be time to clean him out of your life and make a fresh start with someone who’s in line with your most important values. Always remember, you are the most important person in your life.
You should be at the top of your priority list. Shower yourself in self-acceptance While you’re doing all this great cleaning and reorganizing, it’s important to acknowledge yourself. So make a list of your daily accomplishments, such as, “I acknowledge myself for letting go of angry thoughts about my ex,” “I acknowledge myself for cleaning out my mental closet,” or “I acknowledge myself for organizing my sock drawer!” When you get into the habit of self-acknowledgement, you are not only empowering yourself, you are also engaging in self-love. So get into the habit of thinking and believing great things about YOU. If you do, you’ll attract great relationships, too.
It’s time to spring ahead into a happier love life. Let go of fear, let go of regret, let go of the past — just let it all go, baby. If you do, you’ll create room for healthier relationships to come into your happier space. Believe in your talents, value your worth, and know that you can accomplish anything in life and in love.