We’ve all been there, and we all know him. That guy.
The one, as Beyonce so aptly sings, makes us “crazy in love” (though in all fairness, it was Solange who went a bit cray-cray in the lift).
So what can you do when Mr Right ends up being Mr Not So Right For You, and it’s the end of the road?
Break all contact We’re talking cold turkey here ladies – and not the bird Americans eat at Thanksgiving.
In hindsight, you will give thanks for making this move.
When people break an addiction, they don’t take the occasional sip of alcohol or snort the odd line of coke. It’s all or nothing baby.
This, more than likely, will be the hardest step. But you won’t get over him if you keep in touch.
Not unless neither has romantic feelings any more (in which case, please ignore all other steps).
Change your focus
You’re more than likely addicted to him because he’s always on your mind.
Stop thinking about the wedding dress, the names you will give your children (all four of them), or signing his surname – you know, just to see what it looks like on paper.
This is the perfect time to focus on your needs instead.
Get a hobby
This is the fun part (yes, you heard me, the fun part).
Have you always wanted to learn how to knit? (No judgement here, knitting’s cool) Sign up for a class, learn French or start your own business.
Not only will this shift your focus (see step 2) but you’ll learn a new skill and meet awesome people will similar interests. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.
Acknowledge that it hurts – and that it’s over
This, like the “break all contact” step, is imperative and pretty tough.
But it can be turned into a positive exercise where you reflect on the relationship, see the good and bad in it, and learn from it. This will help you live positively and consciously in your next relationship.
No, I don’t mean jump into the next relationship. You need to process the one that just ended.
However, sometimes having male energy around, even in the form of a friendship, does wonders to lift our spirits. And it reminds you that there are other great guys out there.
Maybe dating Mr Right Now means that you’re actually stopping yourself from meeting the real Mr Right.
And one Don’t…
Don’t trade one addiction for another
As tempting as it is to down a bottle of Chablis or live on tranquilizers, you’re merely substituting one problem for another.
Yes, you’re entitled to that evening out where you get completely plastered and rant about the fact that he’s an asshole for not seeing the groovy chick in you. But don’t overdo it – and leave your cellphone at home.
The last thing you want to do is send a drunken “I wuv you. Please, please, please take me back. Please” text, compliments of gin and tonic.
You’re a goddess. Know your worth. You will get over him… in time.