I have been dating a guy for 2-3 months. Between his work schedule, me having to find a sitter, and the fact that we live an hour apart, we’ve only only been able to spend time together maybe 6-7 times. But we usually talk or text daily, including a “good morning” text I used to get from him everyday.
Things were going great, he’s very sweet and romantic, always wants to make me happy, and i am soooo comfortable around him! I was slower to show emotion than he was due to me previously being hurt, to a point that he actually told me he thought I wasn’t even interested in the beginning. When I explained about the walls I have up, he said that he always thought it would be me ending up hurting him because he liked me so much. Things progressed and I started to like him/open up a little more each day.
Things were great…then the “good morning” texts stopped all of a sudden. After a day or 2 of not hearing from him I texted just to see how he was doing (he was pretty sick the last time I saw him and actually wound up in the hospital). I never heard back, so I decided to just let it go and be thankful that I did have walls up and hadn’t let myself get in too deep too early. After about a week it really started to bother me, I still can’t decide if its because I liked him more than I let myself believe or if it was because I felt duped again and wanted to feel in control, but I decided to text him….
“Don’t know what happened but I wanted to let you know That i think you’re great and I hope you find what you’re looking for!” I guess I was just desperate for “closure”, I don’t know. He’s not like any other guy Ive dated, has a super interesting unique past, romantic, writes poetry….just knowing his personality, I was having a super hard time believing he was doing the disappearing act! He replied, he said nothing happened and that he found out he has to move out of state and was waiting to get better (still sick) to find the right time to tell me and has just been in and out dealing with moving, and added “I want you to know you are someone I could fall in love with”
WTF is that? Is that supposed to be my consolation prize or something? I’m not surprised by it, in fact, I’d kinda been feeling like he was fighting saying it because he knew I wasn’t at that level yet. Anyway, we texted for a bit about the situation he called me “love” and “sunshine” like he normally would, then he said he wants to see me before he leaves (in two weeks). I told him I wanted to see him too, even though it would just make it harder for both of us, but I felt we had been talking long enough that we needed a proper goodbye. So, he let me know when he was available so I could find a sitter and I told him I’d let him know. The next day I texted him and let him know I got a sitter for the weekend so I could come see him. I didn’t hear from him for a day and said “ok, whats going on, I feel like I’m getting whiplash, do you want to see me or not”. He said “what do you want me to do love, I don’t know how this is gonna go, I don’t know how to act in this situation”. I said “I don’t know either, but I wanted to see you before you left but it sounds like you don’t want to anymore”. He never replied.
I knew I should have just let it go, but I sent him a text saying that he must have been full of shit when he said he could fall in love with me since he can just disregard me so easily now, and that all I wanted to do was spend time with him one more time before he left and be able to tell him goodbye. I have not heard back.
Do I just need to let him go without getting to say goodbye? I really want to see him, I don’t want it to end like this. I want to be able to tell him goodbye and thank him for the memories. And maybe let him know that I’m open to dating him again when he gets back as long as neither of us are in relationships at that time, (whenever that is, he doesn’t know when he’s coming back.).
I don’t know what to do, part of me thinks he is taking this whole situation much harder than I am and he’s pushing me away because its painful for him since he doesn’t want to leave….or this is some horrible elaborate story to “let me down easy” but I really doubt it. What do I do?