1. You save money.
Going out with severely horrible dudes who may or may not pay for your drinks can get expensive. And so can spending like $200 getting ready for said horrible dude. But you hanging out with you thinking you look cool in whatever? Free!
2. You come home drunk and you don’t have to talk to anyone.
No explanations needed and you can sing made-up drunk songs as much as you want and no one will tell you to shut up ’cause they’re trying to sleep. Unless you have a roommate. They will probably tell you to shut up.
3. You can eat as repulsively as possible.
When I get home from work I eat like a monster and it is the best.
4. You can have a female BFF for real!
Obviously you can have one either way, but you’re not dating anyone, which means you have that much more time to spend with a true female best friend where you guys have slumber parties as adults with face masks and everything!!!
5. You can shave your legs or not.
I firmly believe that in a relationship or not, you are never required to shave anything you don’t wanna shave. Seriously. I promise you. No one (who matters) cares. But the good thing is, you don’t have to worry if some jerkoff cares or not ’cause it’s just you and honestly, your leg hair is adorable.
6. You have time to do whatever you want.
“Let me check with my boyfriend … hahaha, JK, I’m single. Yeah, I’m free! Let’s go!”
7. You can go out for “girly” food and not have a dude there whining about it.
Eat all the damn tapas you want! Tapas are great!
8. You’re more likely to end up in a relationship when you just don’t give any fucks.
People say that you find someone when you’re not looking so keep on not caring! If it’s meant to happen, it will. If not, you have nachos.
9. You want extra blankets? You get extra blankets.
You’re cold; no one else is in bed with you; therefore, no one else gets to weigh in on this. Four hundred blankets it is!
10. No one else is fucking up your Netflix recommendations.
I specifically curated my Netflix so that I am shown (1) movies with a strong female lead, (2) romantic comedies that do not suck, (3) TV shows I’m obsessed with. None of those categories include whateverDune is.
11. You can wear comfortable underwear without worrying about wearing “cute” ones.
Basic black boyshorts 24/7, man.
12. No one criticizes your cute fashions.
“Look at this amazing capelet I got! It serves no function at all and makes me look like a hot Mary Poppins! I am looking goooood!” — you, talking to yourself in the mirror.