Boring marriages, unfortunately, exist in many of our circles, amongst our family and friends. Couples are simply coexisting with not very much excitement or joy. Living in a marriage where there is no joy or spontaneity can be draining. A couple who finds themselves struggling with this type of frustration, is in desperate need of a makeover.

A makeover allows us to take something blah and turn it into an aha! But we have to first recognize one is needed and not be satisfied with what we currently see. This goes for our relationships also. If we find ourselves in a marriage that no longer excites us, do we simply stay put and suffer silently, or do we take action? I suggest you take action. Check out these 5 makeover tips for a boring marriage:

1. Be specific in your prayers by asking God to deliver your marriage from that negative space. We may not think having a boring marriage is worthy enough to pray over, but it is. Any struggles you may encounter need to be taken before God. Trusting Him to move in both of you is an amazing way to take your marriage back.

2. Connect with other couples. Having conversations with other couples will give you ideas for your own marriage. Asking about date nights, vacations and how other couples spend their time confirms that there are plenty of ways to keep a marriage alive. Be proactive by joining a marriage ministry or a couple’s event network. It’s important to spend time around people who are similar to you and your spouse. We can encourage one another and actually need to do so more often. It’s important to know we aren’t alone in our challenges. We also need the positive energy that comes from other healthy relationships.

3. Be mindful of what your dating life was like prior to marriage. Who were you when you were just a boyfriend or girlfriend? How did you dress and behave around your partner? How did you set yourself apart and prove you were marriage material? Answering these questions will guide you into where you need to show up now. It’s important to court your spouse again.

4. Make some arrangements that allow you both to spend some significant time together. Partner with family or other parents who may also need couple time and set up babysitting bartering. Doing this in advance makes it easier to plan dates. Incorporate couple time into the family time. If it’s family movie night, make sure you and your spouse sit next to each other. Use that time to cuddle, hold hands and stay connected.

5. Take up a new hobby together, like art, dancing or cooking classes. We have to keep our marriage fresh and new and we can’t be afraid to step outside of our comfort zones, especially as it relates to our union.

6. Incorporate a few new positions into your bedroom routine. Who wants the same physical connection every time? There are far too many resources and apps providing ideas on how to keep marriages hot and spicy, for our intimacy to still be suffering. Ask your partner what he/she needs and share your needs as well.

If we find ourselves in a boring marriage, it is by choice. We all have access to what we need to revive it. We have to desire a stronger, healthier and more spontaneous partnership. When the desire for better is stronger than settling for the mundane, we will take action. Couples, I challenge each of you stuck in a boring marriage to get up and do something about it, today!