Time immemorial, African women have been on a quest to know the real reasons why their men have supposedly been so unromantic compared to their Caucasian counterparts.
Sending flowers, public display of affection, saying sorry, lighting evening candles without any occasion and many more are what has characterized men of the non-African race but alas, it can only be noticeable in just a handful of men from the African continent.
It is of utmost importance to note that romance is an essential part of a relationship which helps in producing and strengthening a special bond in one’s relationship. However, it can mean different things to various people but there’s a standard notion of what it should be.
Have you ever wondered why the ‘’unromantic’’ culture has been a trend from one generation to another? Every African boy grow up with a ‘’-do-not-be-seen-as-weak’’ syndrome, hence, the bold face exterior even when they are passing through the hardest of times. Although Mrs. Nzeribe, a health official in a Lagos state hospital feels men do the ‘’I am the man’’ thing so as not to be seen as vulnerable to their feelings, especially right in front of their woman. This should never be the case because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a man showing how much he loves and cares for his woman.
African men, tend not to have the fairytale, affectionate and romantic loving towards their women because they have seen how their father ran the house, how their father was the lord of the house and how their mother was just there to carry out all orders that come from her ‘’lord’’. The African adage that says ‘’the soup in which the man of the house doesn’t eat, the wife of the house must not prepare’’, has so much to do in the way and manner African men view their interactions with their wives.
Although the African man has been portrayed as violent, thugish, controlling, possessive and always coming through as someone without any sexual desires, Mr. Oshikoya, a Computer Analyst in Lagos made it known that every African man has huge sexual needs; it only takes a very subtle and unrelenting woman to bring him to his kneels crawling and drooling all in the name of showing his wife all the love and attention in this world.
In conclusion, women seem to view romance as a state of being, while men tend to look at it more as a sequence of specific actions. An African man feels there is nothing as romantic as building a house for his wife and children, being able to provide for their immediate needs and many more while a woman looks at the imaginary, fanciful and many other things portrayed to them in movies as yardstick to being romantic. Needless to say men need to be more open to the exact needs of their wives while wives in turn help their men know what they really want?