Man, I wish I had a dime for every time that I have heard a woman ask her man, “Are you even listening to me?” What is it about men that they are prone to tuning out women?
First let’s point out that men aren’t always the problem. All women aren’t innocent either, but there are seven basic reasons that men tend to tune out or not listen.
1. It’s about power. Men want to be in charge, and having to stand there and listen to you talk about your BFF or the sale at Macy’s is just not happening. He does not want to relinquish control and have to listen to things that don’t matter to him.
2. They don’t like to be criticized or told they’re stupid or lazy. You know you do it! “Are you that lazy that you can’t even take out the garbage?” Actually, he probably tuned you out by the time he heard “lazy” and went back to watching the game.
3. They want to avoid an emotional response. It goes back to being strong or at least looking like he is strong. If you are pouring your heart out to him about something, he’s prone to tune it out and just respond occasionally to “Sorry to hear that,” or “It’ll be OK.”
4. How many times has your man walked away or left the room when you are ranting about something? The truth is, according to research, that men don’t like conflict, so he may just tune out your venting to avoid confrontation.
5. He doesn’t want to validate your whining (sorry ladies), if you have a tendency to do that. Dude figures if he gives in once, it’ll happen again, so if you are upset about something, don’t be surprised to see a dazed look come over his face, and thus, “Are you even listening to me?”
6. Any time that you raise your voice to him you are doing two things in his mind: getting emotional and being irrational, and he doesn’t care for either.
7. He may not want to have to solve a problem. Seriously, if he doesn’t really listen and doesn’t respond with anything other than an occasional “Yes honey,” he’s probably tuned you out. If he doesn’t hear the problem, or doesn’t acknowledge it, he doesn’t have to solve it.
The truth is a lot of men want the power and control in a relationship. But real men want communication. Real men share power. Real men show respect. Do you have a real man?