So you’re in your twenties, and you’ve been having s*ex with dudes for years. You’ve had good and bad long(ish) relationships with men, but you’ve always had this underlying feeling that something might not be right. It could just be that you’re dating the wrong guys – or, you know, it could be that you actually like women.
1. You’ve started to fantasize… and it’s really nice. That stunning woman on the subway hands you her number, you have the perfect first date, and then tumble into each other’s arms at the end of the evening. That lanky, adorable blonde at the dog park asks you back to her apartment for coffee. Your pups play together at your feet as you stare deeply into each other’s eyes and fall in love. That unbelievably s*exy, tie wearing queer person who works in another department meets you in an empty office and you have the roughest, hottest s*ex of your life. These things are all happening in your head because you’re probably attracted to women. They could also happen in real life, too… just saying.
2. You go to a workout class just to be near the instructor. Whatever your relationship with the gym, it’s much more motivating to go if there’s someone really fucking hot to admire while you sweat. The instructor’s perfect crew cut, her breathtaking muscle tone, and her ability to kick anyone’s ass brings you back every week. Maybe it’s the workout endorphins or maybe it’s in your head, but the s*exual energy that she exudes is like a magnet drawing you towards her, despite your lack of experience doing anything other than exercise with a woman like her.
3. You’ve started to appreciate how soft women are. The brush of your coworker’s arm in a meeting, your roommate’s leg against yours as you sit on the couch watching Girls, the woman pressed against you on the train, your friend’s shoulders as your give her a massage… From years of experience on both sides of the court, I can tell you women are, without question, so much softer than men. It’s just a thing – a really enjoyable thing. When you notice it, you can’t help but want to touch them (with consent) even more.
4. You’ve been asking your friend how lesbians have s*ex. This curiosity to actually fulfill these fantasies you’ve been having about your soft, s*exy gym instructor leads you to start asking questions. I know you’re dying to have someone explain it to you in simple terms like THIS goes THERE, but you’re just going to have to experience it to know what it’s all about. Trust me, you’ll understand afterwards and your life will be changed completely – for the better.
5. You think all women love other women, they’re just not talking about it. Women talk about other women – in positive and negative ways – all the time. We express appreciation for the beautiful curves, the stunning smiles, and the breathtaking breasts of our fellow ladies. Some women don’t feel s*exually stimulated by these admirable attributes. Some women feel it, but they don’t talk about it. Chances are if you’re feeling it, then you’re probably attracted to women more than your average female.
6. You can’t stop staring at the middle-aged lesbian couple in the grocery store. You can probably imagine what their life is like as they’re discussing what cut of organic, grass fed beef to buy. Middle age can mean mortgages, bills, careers, and decreased social interaction regardless of your s*exual orientation. That doesn’t stop you from trying to sneak glances at them from across the cheese section and imagining if their past might be your future. What’s it been like for them to openly love each other since before a single state legalized gay marriage? Sometimes a person’s fear of how challenging it might be to come out later in life stops you from acknowledging your s*exual attraction to other women. Honestly, it hasn’t been easy for them and it’s probably not going to be easy for you because it’s never 100% easy to be who you are and that makes it all the more important to try to be.
If you’re experiencing one or more these indicators, try it out. Go on a date. Kiss a lady. You might realize that you are a woman who is attracted to women (and maybe men, too). Congratulations!