Sexy is a state of mind. That is the number one rule you must always remember when trying to raise your s*x appeal. If you don’t view yourself as sexy well how can you expect anyone else to. We can talk about all the things you can do on the surface, but understanding the deeper principles that play into your s*x appeal will create much better and more consistent results. Yes, there are many women who can draw a man in on first glance and appear sexy despite some deeper issues. Yet once the man gets to know them, their sexy label gets removed and is that really what you want? Probably not, so in an effort to create and keep your sexiness alive consider these five principles.

1. Be Confident

The most important component in s*x appeal is confidence. Without it, a gorgeous woman can lose her spark. With it, the “not so cute” can still draw others in and become very attractive in the eyes of many. Confidence can be intriguing and exudes a certain type of energy that definitely can capture the attention of those around you. Confidence does not require validation from others and it does not need to boast and brag. It starts from within you, and to tap into it you have to embrace the next principle.

2. Love Yourself First

When you don’t truly love yourself, you will likely sell yourself short. Insecurities will start to show and most will not find that sexy at all. Being confident is extremely difficult when you don’t overcome the obstacle of loving yourself. You have to embrace a more positive approach to your life and release that negative energy that has been holding you back. When you don’t, you will be viewed more as bitter than you will be viewed as sexy. Embrace forgiveness of those who have had a negative impact on you from the past. Forgive yourself as well because many times that is the wall that is blocking your self love. Doing this will then allow you to move to the next step in this process.

3. Find Your True Self

To be able to gain confidence and loving yourself, you have to truly find yourself. You have to tap into who you truly are and stop trying to be someone you’re not. When you’re not comfortable in your own skin, you will hinder your ability to consistently exude the s*x appeal that is within you. Nobody likes phony people, but a genuine person is admired and desired. So take time to get to know yourself more. Acknowledge your issues and address them. Recognize your strengths and make them better. When you truly find yourself, being sexy becomes that much easier.

4. Take Better Care of Yourself

The better you feel, the better you start to look. It all starts from within, but that also includes what you do to your body. It isn’t about being a specific size, or looking like how others tell you to look. It’s about being healthy and feeding your body in a way that allows it to operate at an optimal level. Diet is very important and can effect your mood and overall happiness. Also making sure you take time to rest and relax is essential. If you keep skipping out on sleep it will start to take its toll, and looking sexy will become that much harder. So investing in your overall health can give you a great boost that will provide an appealing glow, rather than looking like a dimming light.

5. Compliment Yourself

I’m not saying become some conceited woman staring in the mirror all day in awe of yourself…or am I? When you can learn to genuinely speak more positive of yourself, you can help infuse the positive energy you need to look and feel your best. You shouldn’t look for others to validate you, you have to have that on your own. Their compliments will just be a bonus to what you have already embraced. Also, compliment yourself in the sense of finding what works for you. Hair style, clothes, etc are ways to bring more out of your look and enhance, not change, who you are.

These are some general steps you can embrace to bring that sexy back. Being willing to put in the work will ensure that you will start seeing some positive results. Just make sure you embrace that no matter how amazing and sexy you are, there will always be those who won’t think much of you. Don’t let that phase you, embrace your value, and stand strong in who you are. All of these things will truly help you come into your own as a person and the word “sexy” will all of a sudden be tattooed on your forehead.

The need to feel loved isn’t confined to marriage or even romance—everyone has a desire to be fulfilled by meaningful relationships and unconditional love.