Here are 5 things you need to do if you are thinking about cheating.

1. Begin individual counseling or therapy sessions. The decision to cheat is a very personal one, which is why individual counseling may help. What’s going on in your mind? Why are you unhappy? Why does cheating feel like a reasonable thing to do? Therapy can help you work through your personal issues. This doesn’t mean that whatever is wrong in your marriage is your fault, but it does mean that the way you choose to manage what is going on is your decision. If your way of managing it is to cheat, you have to work through some stuff on your own.

2. Have an honest conversation with your spouse. If my husband wants to cheat, I sure hope he has the guts to come and tell me. Will I be pissed off? Of course! Disappointed? Heck yea! But I would rather hear this man tell me what’s on his mind and alert me to the problem at hand than to later find out that he did something that will forever damage how much I trust him. As far as I am concerned, give me the truth—even if it hurts like hell.

3. End communication with anyone you are thinking about cheating with. Maybe it’s an old friend or maybe a colleague, but whomever it is that has you feeling like you want to mess around, I suggest you keep your distance. We are all human, and you really can’t buy a dozen donuts every morning but expect to lose weight. It’s counter-intuitive. Keep the temptation out of your face.

4. Turn to your faith for guidance. I firmly believe that when it comes to anything that threatens to damage your marriage, you must turn to the foundation your marriage is built on. If you got married before God, turn to Him when you find yourselves in troubled waters.

5. Seek professional counseling as a couple. The individual help is critical but when infidelity is something that either party is considering, couples counseling is a must. You have to come together to determine what is going on and if your relationship can be saved. Once you both (hopefully) decide that it can, it’s time to put in the work.