Think she’s never lied? You’d be wrong. Although your girlfriend looks angelic and swears she’s never fibbed, the facts are everyone lies; even Scouts and Girl Guides. It may be that your girl tweaks the cost of a dress or denies the fact that she’s ever faked it in bed; either way a lie is a lie and she’s been holding back the truth from you for a long time. Here are five things your girlfriend has definitely done but won’t ever tell you.
Told her friends the size of your you-know-what
Even though she’d be horrified to hear that you told your guy friends that she has odd shaped boobs or a spotty butt, it turns out that girls abide to a different set of laws and rules. Basically, although you’re not going to be happy about hearing this, your girlfriend will have definitely told all her girl friends the size of your penis and, as if they haven’t caused you enough humiliation, they will probably have also swapped stories about your moves, your stamina and even your deepest, darkest fantasies. If you’re reading this in a red-faced, clammy panic, take a deep breath, remain calm and try to accept that this is just girls’ ways.
Spent a fortune on a dress she wears once
Before you started dating women, you knew that they liked to shop. Yet what you hadn’t been prepared for was the amount she’d spend on items and how often she would go shopping. Research has found that in a lifetime the average woman buys 3,109 items, including: 271 pairs of shoes, 185 dresses and 145 bags. The longer you spend with your girl, the more items she’ll end up buying and the more annoyed you’ll get when she brings home yet another shopping bag. Your girl knows you find her shopping habits exasperating and so at some point she will definitely lie to you about the cost of one of her latest splurges.
Do you often refer to yourself as the Love Machine or as Mr. Casanova? Don’t worry, your secret is safe with us and you’re not alone. Most men think they’re excellent under the covers because they always make their girlfriends come, no matter what. Although your girl may be so satisfied because you are dynamo, it might also have something to do with the fact that she’s a faker. According to studies around 48 per cent of women have faked an orgasm at one time or another. So, we’re afraid to tell you that you’re probably not quite the stud you thought you were and your girl does not visit Orgasm Land every single time you have sex.
Returned a gift
You scoured the shops for days, trying to pick out the right shade of jumper or the right scent of perfume. On the morning of her birthday you proudly present the well-wrapped (the lady in the store gift-wrapped it for you) present you picked and watch her reaction carefully. Success! She loves it and is ecstatic. What you don’t know is that every woman is an incredible actress. It’s as if to become a fully-fledged woman they have to graduate from some kind of fantastic drama school where they can demonstrate their skills in faking joy at an unwanted gift. How do we know this? Well, when did you last see your last present being used? If your girl says she lost it or it broke, you can guarantee that she returned your gift the next day.
Told you she’s fine
If you’ve been dating for longer than two weeks then at some point your girl would have told you ‘she’s fine’. Whatever you do don’t believe her. In a study commissioned by 20th Century Fox, researchers found that telling their partner’s that they were fine, even though they were anything but, was the most common lie women told men. If your girlfriend tells you that nothing is wrong even though she’s still pouting and won’t let you touch her, then take it from us: it’s a lie. We’re not sure why women do this. It may be that she is too humiliated to tell you why she is upset or it may be that she wants you to be a mind reader and instantly know why she’s unhappy that you’re going to go on an all boys holiday rather than stay at home to go to her mum’s wedding.