Whether you are a newly single or a divorced mom who is ready to get back on the dating scene, there are probably some guidelines that you should follow. Although the dating scene may have changed a little since you were out there, it’s really you that has changed, whether you realize it or not.
• First thing – don’t wait too long to get back out there. The more time that you spend alone with just your kids and your BFs, the harder it’s going to be to dip back into the dating pool. You will get set in your ways and your routine and it’ll be harder to be receptive of someone new.
Another first thing – don’t date too soon if you are just getting out of a long-term commitment. Get used to being alone and independent and take in what makes you happy.
It’s up to you to find a balance of when to get back out there. If you wait too long, you’ll be rusty, and if you go too soon, you’ll be needy.
• Don’t get back into that same pattern of being with just one person like you were before the big split. Don’t sleep around – just be open to dating more than one person. Go to church functions, dance classes and other social settings where you can meet an array of people.
• Don’t become intimate too soon. For women, making love has more of an emotional bond attached to it than for most men. First and foremost, it’s not a good example for your kid, whatever age. And by now you should have realized that a good man will wait until it’s the right time for both of you.
• Don’t bring your kids into the picture too soon. You don’t know how long the guy is going to be around you, so how do you know how he will treat your kids. That’s one thing. The other thing is, depending on the age of your child, he/she is probably still attached to dad and any new man is going to cause confusion and conflict when he/she tells dad. You don’t need that scene before you even know if your new dating partner is going to around.
There’s nothing wrong with a little caution. Your priority is you and your child, so keep that in mind the most of all before you jump back into the dating game.