I am not an expert on men and relationships and I don’t claim to be. Honestly, I think trying to figure out the chemistry between two people is a lot of work. However, I have come to realize that these days a lot of relationships hit rock bottom because of the way they were started.
Now I’m not talking about one night stands or casual, short term flings. I mean steadies. Maybe not for marriage because hey, who knows tomorrow? I am talking of a real romantic affair between two consenting adults. Could be they just started dating or they’re about to… whichever it is, it can work but it will take a real man to start the fire and keep his own half of the flame burning for a prolonged time.

Many a male species have no idea that they can get any woman to fall in love with them. Yes, I said it. ANY woman. Might not be truth but it’s fact. Tested and proven – and witnessed by me. Ever wondered why certain guys are chick magnets and they have nothing in their resume but sugar-coated tongues? That’s because the rest of their male counterparts assume that without money there is no love devotion.

I don’t blame them because the average Nigerian woman believes the same thing. Nevertheless I am not talking about money today but about real men. I hate blankets, generalizing and stereotypes and that is why I wrote this exposé for the unusual man who is not lazy and would take his time to woo the woman of his dreams. To do this, he must borrow a leaf from each type of man below.

 

1. The Bad Boy [Fally Ipupa]

My personal favorite. Everyone knows the bad boy when he walks in because all the ladies turn his way. He announces his presence with attitude, flirts with every female around and rides off into the sunset with the most desired of damsels. Why? He has three things most men don’t. Mystery, spontaneity and confidence. He believes he is God’s gift to women and he has taken his time to perfect the art of wooing and seduction. It is no small task to be this guy and that is why amateurs who claim to be players always end up coming off as the ‘A’ word. A bad boy, because of his experience with the opposite sex, always knows what women want, gives it to them and asks later if they liked it. And believe me the answer is always ‘yes!’ Try to decipher his thoughts or next move and you will be lost.

However, this type of guy has his bad sides, and the worst being he easily gets bored and is scared of hanging around long enough to be the nice guy. He’s a wuss when the ‘L’ word is mentioned and runs from it like it is the bubonic plague. Bad to the bone they say but I believe there are a lot of good lessons to be learned from him.

2. The Gentleman [ Banky W]

Every mother’s dream. Just recently I was telling a friend about another friend and I went “he’s such a gentleman,” and she was like, “awwwww…” Yeah, women want the guy that holds doors for them, pulls out chairs, lends them a crying shoulder and cuddles them to sleep. This guy is not afraid to listen to her talk. He might find cooking torture but he will help her slice the onions and blend the pepper while she cooks. He remembers she casually mentioned that she loves strawberry yoghurt and he gets it for her the next time he visits. He is faithful, self-giving, gentle and more importantly, mature.

However, he can get too predictable and boring and eventually become the lady’s doormat. Apart from that, he is a man any woman would take home to meet her parents, that is if the bad boy has not whisked her away by now.

 

3. The Lover Boy [Ramsey Nouah]

Hopeless Romantic. He is a man who is cheesy but very sweet. He has all the tricks up his sleeves on how to court a woman and can be downright unabashed about it. He also has a catalogue of the right words to make her melt and the precise mood as well. Like the bad boy, he knows what gets a woman but sees it from a different angle. The heart guides his actions and he seeks to connect to a woman on a deeper level than the usual. He is the type to take a woman out on a walk just to declare his love, snuggle up at the back of the cinema to neck and kiss, buy gifts that she could have as keepsakes, cook dinner and eat under candlelight (this comes in handy when NEPA strikes), and dance with her to slow music. He is very imaginative, creative and sensitive—all attributes that women adore. A lover boy is often very good in the sack and knows how to please a woman. He is not afraid to look into her eyes and tell her how he feel s even if it’s in public.

However, he tends to become too mushy and goes fully into overkill. He calls too much, texts too much and begins to declare his feelings for his lady love on not only his Facebook wall but on hers as well, thereby, smothering her. That aside, history has it that lover boys have won the hearts of countless females with cheesy behavior and words we would generally call clichés. If you don’t believe ask King Solomon.

4. The Macho Man [Didier Drogba]

The Alpha Male. The picture in your head is of this strong, muscular dude who goes around with a menacing frown, right? Well, you’re not far from the truth but I have seen a few macho men who were quite the opposite, yet contained the characteristic s of a strong male. He is usually assertive, self-conscious and strong. I mean, in a world where real men are scarce and the scourge of the metrosexual and gay is beginning to spread like wild fire, macho men are highly appreciated by the female population. This type of man is his lady’s knight in shining armor and loves the attention he gets when he defends her honor. His pride will not let him walk away from his manly responsibilities and for fear of being considered weak and eventually being overtaken by a more capable brother, he would do everything within his power to keep his woman.

However, he might become too cocky, excessively jealous and aggressive. Without these fatal features, a woman will feel protected and extremely special around him.

 

5. The Comedian-[Basket Mouth]

The Entertainer. Laughter is really the best medicine for the soul and with all the stress of today, a woman wants to just come home, stretch her feet and have a good laugh. You might be successful as all four above, plus with a loaded pocket but without a sense of humor, you would become a salad without the salad dressing. Walk into a public place and see a guy surrounded by four or five chicks, what is he making them do? My guess is as good as yours. It is simple science. You make her laugh, she is happy, the walls are broken down and she begins to see you in a different light. Who no want better tin? Now, don’t go throwing inappropriate jokes or expensive ones about her weight and age. You will get the boot. This is the trick you don’t know: the comedian is not always funny but clowns are (more like annoying). The comedian knows when to chip in a joke and how to tell it while making clear with his eyes and other micro-expressions that he is not here to joke. This brother loves life and carries no weight on his shoulders.

However, some guys don’t know how to kill it when it is too good to be true and immaturity sets in but on a good day he who makes her laugh, lasts. I mean it, jokes apart.

So there you have it. Not once was money mentioned as a decisive factor. Still think number 6 guy should be The Maga? Please leave a comment.