Editor’s Note: As women, we’re pretty picky when it comes to guys. We all have our list of deal breakers and don’ts that make us shy away from certain guys. But what do men steer clear of when it comes to women? Below, an AskMen.com columnist who calls himself “The Player” (ahem) counsels men based on his vast dating experience. Find out which types of women he tossed out…then keep this inside info in mind on your next trip to the bar.
When pursuing your lady, use this as a guide — The Player’s list of five types of women you should avoid. The Player has encountered many types of women in his existence, so who better to make a list than someone who’s been through the entire book? Don’t worry though, this list isn’t gospel — it simply offers a few guidelines to keep you from meeting Dr. Jekyll, but dating Mrs. Hyde… proceed at your own discretion.
Every man likes an articulate woman, a girl who can voice her opinion, sound intelligent and impress your friends with a philosophical debate on the downward spiral of modern politics. OK, maybe that’s pushing it a bit, but a woman with verbal confidence can be a hell of a turn-on. But let’s be realistic — while it’s always nice to date someone who is charismatic and well-versed, it’s something quite different to date a woman who beats the opinionated war drum.
Unfortunately, these types exist, and for those who haven’t had the privilege of strapping on your helmet and hunkering down for a verbal assault, you’re definitely not missing out. Everyone comes from different wombs, so why does she seem to get angry with you when you can’t agree? Some women simply like to test you to see how well you stand up for yourself; others just like to exert their own power. The Smart-Ass exposes your intellectual weaknesses and will subsequently cut you down because of it. This is a type to avoid at all costs, as she will make the rest of your evening miserable while she stomps on your heart with an egomaniacal boot.
What is it about women who feel the need to call their man 10 times a day? More importantly, what is the guy going to tell a woman that he didn’t just talk about an hour ago? The Psycho will disrupt the balance you have in your day between work and home. She will meld your personal life with your business life, and make it clear to you that she exists and is planting her rump right in the middle of your daily agenda. What’s worse, if you tell her to stop being so obsessive and dependent, she’ll completely deny any obsession she has. She will see it as a sign that she has to work harder to win you over, and then she’ll end up bothering you more. See the vicious cycle here? The Psycho will never give up, and will drown you in her own insecurities about relationships and life. If you find yourself in this predicament, I encourage you to take the blue pill and wake up from your impending nightmare.
This type of woman is probably the most notorious on this list. You’ve heard the warnings to avoid being the “rebound” guy, and it’s a proven piece of advice. But yet, so many of us mistakenly fall for a woman without having a clue about her past relationships. When we encounter a beautiful woman who makes a hell of a first impression, the attraction we feel is clockwork human behavior. We seem to skip over our judgments in the hope that this will be love at first sight. But in this day and age, we are more often than not led down the wrong path, and what guys see as a blessed relationship is really just a temporary comfort for her.
The Rebound knows you are a good guy, so don’t think you’re failing the test. However, you’ve shown up at the right place at the wrong time — the invitation said seven, but you arrived at six. You’re too early, and she’s not ready. It’s difficult to offer any advice on how to pinpoint these types of women, but a good indicator is how persistent her friends are in trying to set her up with you, and how reluctant she is to do it, much to the chagrin of her friends. If you sense reluctance, trust your instinct. Don’t bite.
The Gold Digger
It doesn’t take a genius to know that wooing a woman requires a trifocal effort of body, soul and spending power. As standard romantic procedures, you’re going to have to take her for dinner, buy her flowers, whisk her away to the mountains for the weekend, and show her that the world is your oyster and she’s the pearl. But if I can give a word of caution to my free-spending comrades out there (I’m guilty of this too), make damn sure she’s actually enjoying your company and not just your wallet. If you start to notice that she’s expecting you to pay for everything but the kitchen sink, your credit card bill should be enough of a red flag to warrant an emergency landing.
Here’s some sound advice — if you APPROACH A WOMAN and the first words out of her mouth are “I’ll have a Vodka Seven,” chances are she’s probably out to score some freebies, so proceed with caution. If her friends show up and start ordering drinks as well, there’s a good chance they’ll all dissipate into the crowd once they’ve been served, leaving you with the tab. Avoid the Gold Digger type at all costs. Like the old proverb goes, you can’t buy happiness, and a woman who thinks otherwise isn’t worth your time.
It was not too long ago that I had to end a relationship with this type of woman, much to my disappointment. She had a bevy of outstanding qualities, but her inability to accept a different opinion ultimately led to a breakup. Every time we got together, she would declare her astuteness and would never take my advice because it was always wrong. Ms. Right is, well, stubbornly set in her ways — she’s correct about everything, and if you even so much as make an unfavorable whisper, she’ll lash out at you with the voraciousness of a python. The sad part is, Ms. Right types are hard to change, as their personal pride tends to get in the way of understanding others and the world around her, so all you can really do is avoid these women. She may have been spoiled as a child, or perhaps she has just hung around too many snotty girlfriends for her own good. Either way, the red flags on these women fly high. Steer clear.
There’s Still Hope
With your head now freshly crammed with the follies of the five sin-ettes, you’re probably wondering if there are any types out there that are worth pursuing. And my answer is: there most definitely are. You would be doing yourself a disservice to look for the types of women to avoid. Rather, find women that are your type and then decide whether to continue the pursuit You can never go wrong by playing the field — remember: not even trying is the biggest avoidance of all.