Over time, situations, people and lives change. Our situations improve, people mature, and we all know life is simply a series of constant transformations. Usually we don’t have much control over certain life changes. Unfortunately, we have no power over illnesses or who leaves this earth and when; but what we do have authority over is the type of partner we become. One of the goals for my own marriage is to take full ownership of my half of the relationship and behave in such a way that I have no regrets. How I treat my husband and show up in my marriage are both my primary focus.

Committed relationships do come with a few requirements, including communication, patience and understanding. Another requirement we often neglect is wisdom. Making wise decisions as it relates to your marriage and your partner are imperative. Our decisions can either transform our marriage into one of love, peace and understanding or one of despair and frustration. Here are a few tips on the wise actions we should take that lead to those positive transformations

1. Master Your Tongue

Words can hit harder than a fist. Unfortunately, people hold on to hurtful words and it’s hard to move forward once your spirit has been broken. Life and death lies in the power of your tongue. Couples must consider the outcome of their words. Not everything we think needs to be spoken aloud. Our mates have feelings, even when we don’t see eye to eye, their emotions are valid. We should also look for every opportunity to encourage our spouse. Using words that build the human spirit should come naturally. A positive shift happens for us when we choose to empower our mates with words of love and affirmation.

2. Regularly Declare Your Commitment

How often do you tell your spouse that you are still totally and completely committed to your partnership? Beyond the wedding day vows, couples don’t often remind one another of those promises. Once a month (or more) recite a few of the vows to your spouse and be sure to put “I still” in front of the them. There is power in knowing that, even with relationship ups and downs, our partner is still dedicated and focused on being married to us.

3. Do “It” Just Because

The “it” represents quite a few actions. Apologizing, making sacrifices, and keeping quiet in certain situations are some examples. Apologizing doesn’t mean we were the only one at fault. It simply means we acknowledge our part and want forgiveness. Couples fail when they keep record of rights and wrongs. The focus should always be how to get back to the happy, together. Relationship sacrifices will come in many forms; going places we’d rather not and giving in even when we feel as though our spouse isn’t deserving are a couple. Although sacrifices can feel a little funky in the moment, the end result is always worth it. Couples must also remember there are some moments in a relationship where just listening is going to be the absolute best action to take. Again, these are actions we should easily take because we love our spouse.

Relationship wisdom shows up whenever we seek it. The love for our spouse and the desire for a healthy marriage should be enough motivation for us to utilize that wisdom often to transform our most sacred relationship.

Source: Blackandmarriedwithkids.com