Here are the three relationship commandments:
1. Thou Shall Not Break My Trust. Trust is an essential part of having a healthy relationship because it sets the stage for love to prosper. Believing in and honoring your partner is the greatest gift that you can give in a relationship. Trust allows love to flourish in a relationship because it gives us a feeling of security and confidence. Understand that trust must be present and mutually expressed in order to have a healthy relationship.
2. Thou Shall Not Disrespect Me. Respect is best defined as a feeling of deep admiration for someone. Feeling adored and respected are powerful emotions because they let us know that we are cherished. I have learned that people will attack when they are wronged, people will shut down when they are betrayed, but people will love intensively when they are respected and adored. Respect is a vital relationship principle that must be present. My favorite personal quote: Respect me or leave me, because disrespect is not an option.
3. Thou Shall Not Engage in Ineffective Communication. Ineffective communication refers to poor communication that often leads to fighting, power struggles and unmanageable frustration. This kind of communication is counterproductive to relationships because messages sent are not understood. In order to have a thriving and healthy relationship, effective communication must be present. Effective communication is a two-way information sharing process which involves one person sending a message that is easily understood by the receiving person. I have learned that if you talk at people they will shut down, but if you talk with people they will open up.
As you move forward with processing the future of your relationship, remember that it is easier to fight and win a battle then it is to fight and win a war. Some things should be dealt with early in your relationship. Being selective and establishing ground rules is important. Know what you can and cannot tolerate and take action early. Laughing together, praying together and spending time together is good, but failure to comply with the three relationship commandments listed above will contribute to on-going relationship conflict. Don’t condemn a man for making a mistake, but don’t tolerate a man who is too prideful to apologize.