I never found fart jokes very funny, but I’ve always loved a double entendre. I know that at a certain point I’m supposed to stop finding middle-school level sex jokes funny, but these phrases are just too good to give up.

1. “That teabag was actually better the second time around.”

2. “The landscapers are coming over today to trim the bush.”

3. “Yes, my favorite animal is definitely the beaver.”

4. “Wanna bone?”

5. “A pearl necklace would look really nice on you.”

5. “I was just really surprised by how big his package was.”

 

6. “I love sausage.”

7. “I wonder what happens to nuts in space.”

8. “We were only riding for maybe five seconds before we were desperate to get off.”

9. “We were banging all night.”

10. “In an instant, she was dripping wet.”

11. “Ever since she showed him what to do, he just loves tossing salad.”

12. “I was expecting maybe four inches, but he gave me more like 12.”

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13. “The power of the thrust was really remarkable.”

14. “He really needs to work on his ball handling.”

15. “I tried everything but he just kept slipping out.”

16. “I’m sure he’s tired; he spent all day on his knees.”

17. “I was surprised by the sheer power of the sea men.”

18. “She took his head in her hands and stroked it.”

19. “He tried everything but just couldn’t get in.”

20. “They’re constantly involved in one intercourse or another. It’s difficult to separate them for any length of time.”

21. “Did you try blowing?”