I am about to break it to you all: We do worse things than this. I mean, we can get really gross and disgusting while we are trying to keep ourselves beautiful for you. Beauty has its price after all, and it is not always just pain. It can get down, dirty, and just plain old eww by the time we are done primping and preening for the men in our lives.
1. Yes, We Do Poop
Let’s just get this fact out of the way, first. Girls do poop. We don’t do it in front of our man and, chances are, we probably wait until he is not around to go sit on the potty. And yes, we also get cases of the runs, just like the guys do. We just don’t advertise it and make a huge stink over it. Oh, and we like to poop too. It makes us thinner and we get on the scale afterwards to check out our weight.
2. We Pee In The Shower
If Madonna can do it, so can we. Yes, we pee in the shower. Maybe not all the time and certainly not when you are in the shower with us, but it just makes sense that if you have to pee while you are in the shower, then just pee. It all winds up in the same place anyway. To be honest, I think all women pee in the campground showers just so they don’t have to pee in the dirty toilets available in the next room or squat out in the poison ivy.
3. Period Accidents
We all have underwear that has been stained with blood. We don’t get rid of them. We just wash them and use them as our period panties. When we have more period panties than nice panties, it is time to go underwear shopping. The sad part is we end up wearing our period panties a few days before we get our friend, just in case, not to ruin our sexy undies. We wear them for the week of and a day or two after. We spend a lot of time wearing our period undies.
4. Picking Dead Skin Off Lips
It is wintertime after all and the only way you can get your lips free of dead, peeling skin is to pull it off. This is not something you want to do in front of anyone else, although sometimes you just can’t stop yourself. The dead skin must come off.
5. Playing With A Chin Hair
We try to remember to do the daily chin check, but sometimes we forget for a week or two only to discover that we’ve been walking around, flirting, with a quarter inch hair sticking out of our chin. What the heck? So we play with the hair for a bit. Maybe try and rip the sucker out with our fingers. Eventually we will grab the tweezers and rip that bad boy out.
6. Not Flushing The Toilet
We can think of dozens of reasons to not bother flushing the toilet after a pee, from conserving water to not wanting to wear the handle out, but the fact is that we are just being lazy. For some reason, reaching out to flush the toilet after a pee just takes too much effort. So, there you go.
7. Using His Razor For A Bikini Shave
You did a last minute sleep over at his house or, more accurately, you were too drunk to drive yourself home. You wake up, feel like crap, and head into his shower. Of course, you don’t have any of your stuff with you so you grab his razor and begin shaving. After all, a clean morning shave with your man’s razor sets you in the mood for an early snuggle session.
8. Plucking Nose Hair
Nose hairs too long? You grab the tweezers and brace yourself. Ripping out a nose hair is painful, but you are compelled to go through with it. It is probably easier to trim nose hairs, but nothing gives us more satisfaction than ripping out unwanted hairs.
9. Used Tampon Or Pad Dilemma
You are at your boyfriend’s parents’ house and, as the graces would have it, you also have your period. You go into their bathroom to change your pad or tampon, but where do you put the used one? It has to go into your purse, or worse, tucked into your pocket until you get somewhere that you can throw it out discreetly.
10. Pimple Popping Frenzy
It is a quiet Sunday night and the perfect time to get in front of the mirror and begin searching for pimples and blackheads. It is almost a disappointment when we can’t find any because we get such a thrill out of popping them, but when we do find one or two we jump into action with tweezers, fingernails, and zit cream.