Having recently returned to my childhood bedroom, and being a child of the ’90s, there were more than a few objects that caused me to raise an eyebrow in embarrassment. The childhood bedroom of a ’90s child is a weird and wonderful place, filled with detritus like long broken Walkmans, CD singles, and the kind of kitschy era appropriate memorabilia that the Kylie Jenner-worshipping teens of today would scoff at. If you’re a ’90s child thinking about your bedroom and blushing, you know what I’m talking about.
Amongst the envelopes filled with glitter and secrets (mostly which boys you had a crush on, because lets be real, some of our interests back then left a lot to be desired), there’s much more excruciating memories to embarrass you. Some of them, of course, will be specific to you. Not everyone was weird in exactly the same ways in the ’90s. But there are some things, or at least sub genres of things, that all us ’90s kids have in our bedrooms, and that would probably take some explaining to the kids of today. Not that any amount of explaining would make them any less embarrassing. Here are some things you would find in the bedroom of a ’90s child that are pretty damn embarrassing.
Those Photo Albums
There’s nothing quite like looking back at your child and teen photos to stir up some serious embarrassment. Mine are full of midriffs, boob tubes that look like something out of The Matrix, and glitter eyeshadow. It’s not pretty. Kids these days wear things like ripped denim shorts and slouchy white tees, so I find it hard to believe they will ever incur the same embarrassment that we do looking back at pictures of ourselves in the ’90s.
A Large Collection Of Beanie Babies Or Troll Dolls
It might not be so embarrassing if you were collecting these things when you were, say, five. But some of us, and I’m not saying me, were young women with our periods and everything when we were lovingly putting together vast collections of Beanie Babies and/or troll dolls. Again, I’m not saying me. I DIDN’T DO THAT, OK?
An Assortment Of Heartthrob Posters And Memorabilia
I have a mirror with Leonardo DiCaprio’s silhouette printed on it. It’s weird and terrible and makes me want to die when I think about how overjoyed I was to receive it as a gift for a birthday. I also have a folder of Leo collectible postcards you’d buy in packets from the news agency It doesn’t matter who your favorite heartthrob was. You were this embarrassing too.
A Real McCoy Or Ace Of Base CD, Or Worse, Both
Your music taste probably wasn’t all that in the ’90s. Sure, you had your Nirvana CD, and Britney Spears is nothing to shake a stick at, but there are going to be a few embarrassments in there too. Like the Venga Boys. Or Aqua. It seemed cute then, but it’s not cute now.
That Old Costume From Your Spice Girls Band
I was Scary Spice, because as a Greek, I was deemed the most “exotic” in our group, a memory which is perfectly cringeworthy in itself. My grandma made me leopard print hot pants and matching boob tube and I had scuba fabric knee high platform boots and a giant wig. Yeah. It’s every bit as embarrassing as it sounds. But don’t pretend for a second like you don’t have a Spice Girls costume tucked somewhere in the back of your wardrobe, too.
A Drawer Full Of Snap Bands And Yo-Yos
When you’re in your childhood bedroom, there will be a drawer that you can open that will reveal all the most embarrassing trinkets of the ’90s. Like snap bands and yo-yos. Yes, these were trends for ’90s kids. I can’t tell you why, just that that’s the way it was.
A Lot Of Frog Or Dolphin Related Things
Remember when everyone wanted to be a marine biologist? Or something else to do with animals? Yeah, that led to a lot of ’90s kids becoming obsessed with things like dolphins and frogs. My cousin’s whole bedroom was a dolphin museum, from the cover on her bed spread to little statuettes all over her room. I was more of a frog girl, and I Blu Tack-ed a menagerie of little plastic frogs all over my room, on the walls, shelves and light fixtures. It was… interesting.