Hint: start by being juuuuust out of reach.

Discovering how to get a boyfriend is a complex, frustrating and sometimes very counter-intuitive process. While I’m known as the “sex guru,” I want to share three very powerful methods, tactics and techniques to get a guy to like and want you. Because after all, great sex often comes from great relationships.

1. Realize that men like the chase a little too much.

You need to realize that men are just like cats. Sound a little weird? Hear me out. Ever see a cat chase after a toy that’s just sitting there? I certainly haven’t. However, when it’s dangled in front of them but still remains slightly out of reach, they literally go crazy for it. They jump around, chase, sprint and pretty much will do whatever it needs to do to catch this “just out of reach” toy.

Bizarrely, guys are exactly the same. If you’re fun, exciting, playful, flirty, and just out of reach, then he’s more likely to desire and chase after you.

2. Keep yourself healthy and in shape.

Going to the gym in and of itself doesn’t make you healthy. Eating right isn’t the only important factor for healthiness. Being thin is a goal of many women, but this may not necessarily make you healthier.

But combining these three things — going to the gym, maintaining a healthy weight, and eating right — is going to massively contribute to health. You see, guys aren’t really looking for a skinny woman, gym bunny or a nutritious eater. They’re naturally attracted to someone who’s healthy. Being lean is the result of being healthy.

3. Dress attractively, not fashionably.

Being fashionable is certainly fun, but if you’re keen to make a guy want you and chase you, you should think more about dressing attractively to accentuate your good points. I can honestly tell you this as guy: men just don’t care about fashion nearly as much as women do. As a result, we often don’t even notice the latest trends or what’s hot.

4. Refrain from being negative.

Are you a fun person, a depressing person, or a boring person? Most guys don’t want to hang around a girl that’s boring or depressing, no matter how attractive she is. They’d prefer to run a mile, honestly.

When I talk about being a fun and positive person, I don’t mean some sort of psycho-happy-all-the-time person. I’m saying that you should do your best to see the good in the world and be at least a little bit more positive.

5. Have your own life.

You absolutely need to have your own life when it comes to dating and even just attracting a guy. Again, this comes down to the fact that guys don’t want what they can easily have. So rather than always being available to hang out with a guy, make sure you have your own life, interests and fun things to do. This will make you seem way, way more valuable in his eyes.

6. Learn how to be a master at sex.

While figuring out how to get a guy to like you is important, learning how to keep him is crucial if you want things to progress. One of the best ways to keep him attracted to you is by having great sex.