Here are 18 signs yours is a situation, not a relationship, and that it’s going nowhere.
1. THEY ARE TOO BUSY TO GIVE YOU TIME
Time, when once given, cannot be taken back. Partners always give each other time in a relationship, a way of showing their care and love for each other. If your partner tells you they are too busy and will not be able to spare a couple of hours to come home and have lunch with you – they’ve already lost the care card.
You get all excited to talk to them after spending all day at work. You approach them. They’re always the first one to leave, making up otherwise lame excuses to get away from you – like being called by a friend to help them out with their car, even though you know they don’t have such close friends. Now combine these two concepts together: wanting to get away from you and caring. Do they bode well together for a relationship? They go days without talking to you, despite telling you they’d be there for you…not how it goes in a relationship where your partner truly cares.
2. THEY ARE INDECISIVE
So they keep playing the cat and mouse game – just when you give up, they are all into the relationship; when you call it quits, they start thinking of getting back together. Stop letting them take such grave advantage of you and let them know relationships are not determined by such cliché aspects like coming and going when one wants to.
You get to have a say in it too. If they cannot accept this fact, then it is you who needs to leave for sure because clearly, whether you leave or stay is of no such concern to them.
There might be occasions you’ll doubt your partner or your relationship’s worth. When your partner doesn’t care about it enough, they won’t do anything to assure you everything’s good if they’re indecisive themselves. Don’t waste yourself for such a relationship.
3. THEY MAKE THEMSELVES THE FOCUS OF ATTENTION
While you make sure your partner’s needs and desires etc. are met with accordingly, it leaves little or no room for you and all that you do for them in their ‘me-world’. This is a major sign that they do not care about you nor the relationship to make it a part of their happiness. Even if you did not do something grand for them, they would still take your hand and have you walk with them on every path of life. If they stop caring, they won’t even bother, as simple as that.
4. THEY PUT THE BLAME ON YOU
Even when it is not your fault, you partner blames you for little things and big things in everyday life. They do not care enough about the healthy course your relationship can and should take and so, putting blames on you becomes habitual to them because holding someone else accountable for their own actions is easier to fulfil, is it not?
If they truly cared about you or your relationship, they would take the blame and not the other way around. It is just one of those small things we do in the name of love and friendship.
You two have a fight. One leaves. The other sits there wondering the why and how of it all. You’d expect them to have the decency to come to you and confront you about what happened, to clear things out. Seems like you had a blindfold on; for they never do, just blame you for everything without clearing things first. Maybe you aren’t in a position to; there can be many reasons. But if they really cared about the relationship, wouldn’t they come and sit with you and talk things out? The matter speaks for itself.
5. THEY TREAT YOU ARROGANTLY
There is nothing cool about treating others below you so if your partner acts in such a way where they use their high rank, charm or power etc to bring you down in any way then it is a sure sign they do not care enough to protect your feelings.
You know that homily feeling you get when you’re with your significant other? That feeling of security and stability’s among the first bricks to put in any relationship. When that feeling becomes dormant, either your partner is doing something less than what they did before or your relationship has simply lost that spark it once had, when everything seemed all rainbows and sunshine. Your time would be utterly wasted by investing your all in something that doesn’t even make you feel secure anymore. It’ll come down like a house of cards.