The hilarious, horrifying, and just plain weird things that you probably won’t read in all those pregnancy books.
Pregnancy is pretty amazing. You’re creating a mini human who will probably look like a tiny, chubby, bald version of you and your partner. Plus, you’re going to love this small fry for the rest of his or her life. What could be better? But before you get to snuggle your brand new baby, you’ve got about nine months of quality time with that bump. And while your mother, grandmother, aunts, and friends may have given you amazing advice and some free baby gear (score!), there are a few things they might have left out.
So we asked real women for advice, truths, and important lessons that they really wish they knew before they got pregnant:
“You will suddenly notice every other pregnant person around you.” —Margaret C.
“You could have some crazy dreams. Keep a dream journal because they will be so wacky that when you read it later it might sound like an LSD trip.” —Jenn Y.
“People lied to me and said don’t worry about how much you eat, you’ll lose it straight after birth. Lies, all lies!” —Jay P.
“You might not have morning sickness, painful labor, fatigue, or discomfort.” —Amanda M.
“You lose things. Once I lost the potato I had just mashed for dinner, found it the next day still in the saucepan, lid on, in the saucepan cupboard.” —Natasha H.
“Do not sneeze in your third trimester or you will pee your pants.” —Jennifer W.
“Being pregnant means that every woman in sight automatically thinks it’s OK to touch your tummy.” —Sally B.
“You might get home from the office and close your eyes for a second only to wake up the next morning.” —Merry A.
“The baby could hiccup four or more times a day in your belly. You will notice. And when baby stops moving and you start panicking, drink something very cold, baby will move like never before.” —Begi L.
“It feels a little weird to not be pregnant after having the baby.” —Lauren H.
“You might not have any cravings like everyone said you would. I actually wanted to eat the grilled chicken and broccoli and not the chicken fingers and fries.” —Donna N.
“You can crave smells as well as foods.” —Deirdre M.
“Take so many notes and pictures for the memories later. You’ll love going back and seeing the pictures and re-reading all the stories.” —Jenn P.
“For the entire second trimester, you are stuck in the limbo stage of looking ‘almost pregnant’ Nobody will offer you a seat or hold a door for you because they aren’t quite sure if you’re pregnant or not.” —Andrea R.
“That your tummy actually gets in the way to a point where you could burn it while baking and preparing food on the stove.” —Jeanette U.
“Gas, gas, and more gas.” —Lauren B.
“Your lady parts will not look the same until after the pregnancy.” —Crystal G.