Getting over someone you’re in love with, who used to be in love with you, is quite possibly one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through in your life. Don’t let the feeling of hurt over the break up control your life
Here are few step by step, week-by-week plan that will help you to get over your ex and move on with your life.
1. Time Apart. First, you need to go through a period of time when you cut off as much communication with your ex as possible. It will be the last thing you want to do, but being with them will hurt, and will not help you get over them. If you do not have mutual friends, don’t meet up with them. If you do share a group of mutual friends, this can be very hard, as you will hear information from them and have to see your ex whilst your with these friends. Either way, you can still do these things to limit the communication shared with your ex: Don’t comment, message or email them. Remove them from your top friends on instagram, Twitter, Facebook, so you don’t receive constant updates. Don’t pick up their calls, and ONLY reply to their texts if they’re important. If they comment/message you or speak to you on MSN/AOL Instant Messenger, you can reply but keep it light and don’t be over friendly. Do not ask any mutual friends questions about your ex.
2. No tracking them down. NEVER start reading your ex’s comments or text messages. Try not to read their profile or check to see how high you are on their friends list. You will be curious, but you don’t want to know, it will only make you feel worse.
If your ex has a new boyfriend/girlfriend, ACCEPT IT. Be happy for them, let the new guy/girl have a chance, don’t try to ruin the relationship for them. Know that, yes, your ex will probably act with them how they used to act with you. This will hurt, but accept it.
3. Hide away things that remind you of them, such as letters, cards, gifts etc.You can have photos of you, your ex and mutual friends in your room, but don’t put up ones of just you and your ex.
4. Select a few close friends whom you can talk to about your feelings about your ex and the breakup. Make sure you do NOT talk about it to mutual friends that are closer to your ex than they are to you.
5. Throughout this whole process, cry, whenever you want to. Crying is not being weak, it’s just letting out your emotions, and sometimes you will need to do this.
6. Always admit to yourself how you are feeling. From now on, ask yourself how you are feeling every day, and always be honest. Also, make sure you are honest about your feelings with the close friends you selected in week 1. There is no point in denying your feelings, because you will begin to think you are over your ex, when really you aren’t, and this can bring back the pain you felt when you first broke up, and you will have to start this process all over again.
7. Don’t numb yourself with drugs or alcohol. It’s fine if you want to use these things with friends and to have fun. But NEVER start using them on your own, and to escape from your problems. This is very, VERY tempting to do, but you will not help yourself at all.
Don’t start binge eating or starving yourself as a way of coping. It will eventually make it a lot worse and could result in other problems.
8. Everyone suffers heartbreak. Remember that it is inevitable that everyone will get their heart broken for the first time. Everyone has to go through this at some point or other. Tell yourself this every day.
9. Write 4 lists; one of things you hated about them, one of things you could never agree on, one of reasons why it didn’t work out between you two/why it wasn’t meant to be, one of things you want from a partner that you didn’t get from your ex. You tend to remember only the good things about them and the relationship, and may want to remember them as someone perfect, especially if they mean a lot to you, which they probably do. Keep this list somewhere you can read it whenever you start to wonder what you could’ve done to change things/where it all went wrong.
10. Make yourself feel great. Change your hair, buy new clothes, exercise, eat healthily etc. Remember all the compliments people have told you (yes, including your ex). Know that someone else will soon appreciate these traits in you, like your ex once did.