Watching a promising relationship die a slow-death could be a tough feeling to bear. In my recent article 25 Warning Signs of a Possible Break-up in Your Relationship, I made mention of clear signs that we often ignore or pretend to manage while we experience hard time with our partners. But in this write-up, some points could be silent but a termite eating up the pillars of your relationship bit by bit. No relationship dies in a day and the moment you see more of the mistakes of your partner, the more uninteresting the relationship becomes and the bitterer you are. No doubt, everyone is bad at something but when you chose to love, you can only get better with necessary adjustment. Making a relationship work is about making efforts. There is no justification for your weakness as you can be almost perfect if you put in some efforts. An absolute change could be difficult but a positive adjustment is possible. If you’ve ever ran on a default mode lifestyle before you decided to build a relationship, the moment you do, knowing you aren’t alone, knowing it takes two to make it work, an immediate shift is expedient. Satisfying the (wo)man you really love should be considered along your decisions. But before a relationship would hit an all time low, these are highlights that could lead it there.
- Issues not discussed – There could be some areas you desire to have your partner change or get better at. If you choose to keep mute about it and you such keeps receiving your attention and you just can’t ignore, it kills relationships slowly.
2. Lies – Well, this cannot be overstretched. The more you lie to your partner, the lesser he/she trust you, and when trust is gone in a relationship, that’s trouble!
3. Not sharing – No one forms a relationship by themselves. It takes two to get at it. A balanced relationship demands the effort of the-two involved. It’s about what you-two bring to the center. The pressure would be one-sided if one person chooses to be greedy. Sharing is one of many things that powers a relationship and makes it balance.
4. Romance Wanted – Absence of romance in a relationship makes it boring. There are ways to get at this,read crazy things that spark up your relationship. Romance is sensual and not always sexual. Identify those things that could create an intimate moment, things that sponsors good connection between you-two and starting doing them. The importance is simply to keep the attraction alive.
5. Blaming Your Partner – Yes! Keep blaming your partner for everything that’s wrong in your relationship and watch it die slowly. When you see more of his/her faults, there will always be something to complain about and the more the complains the more the relationship would lose its value.
6. Lack of Communication – Not in the area of phone calling or text messages though also important but specifically in the awareness of things to do or how to do them. Both parties must be kept abreast of what’s coming. Make your moves, schedules, work or some family related details clear to your partner. Always keeping them in the dark brings about uncertainties that could cause regular misunderstanding in a relationship.
7. Cohabitation – It’s one of the easiest ways to make your partner get fed up with the relationship. When you become too regular, so many things could lose its value and get lost accordingly.
8. Pretense – You seem to be too cool at everything because you want to impress him/her, that’s trouble! Whatever happens to being you should be reversed. Your partner could take it as being nice or tolerant. In a real relationship, no one is a cell-mate, you just be you!
9. Poor Timing – Whatsoever is sharing your quality time with your partner needs to be transferred on another time slot. Having the space for regular conversation strengthens your relationship and if it’s an LDR, you either could talk regularly on phone or pick a day or two in every week for this. Good time spent together reveals a lot, strengthens the bond, secures the relationship and it helps in no little measure.
- Too Many Expectations – You want her to know what you want without saying it? You expect him to remember almost everything even when he has got several matters demanding his attention? Yes, we are in love and you sure mean a lot to us but we are human as well. Expect more and see more faults, expect less and you will be able to appreciate your partner more.
If there are issues not discussed in a relationship, it could make both partners keep hurtful secrets and in-turn produce beautiful lies. Blaming your partner while you appear to be without fault doesn’t make you in-charge but out rightly discharging the strength of the union. Cohabiting, though allowed in many countries is one major reason relationships will always lose its value quickly and another reason men and women would be used and abandoned. Somethings do NOT go together with a relationship and do remember that the best of relationships comes with several sacrifices made.