Sometimes, a dreamy romance can sweep us off our feet to the point where we fail to pinpoint when we’re doing things that we’re not sure about. Give us a lovey-dovey candy floss brain and we’ll say yes to anything! “Move away from your family to be closer to me?” Sure! “Give up your art career and focus on engineering instead?” Will do! In scenarios like these, you need to put your foot down before you end up with nothing left other than a relationship that you may not even be happy with in the future. Here are 10 things you should never let your partner pressure you into.
Never feel pressured into making a s*x tape
No matter how much of a good idea it may seem at the time, if you make a s*x tape there’s always the likelihood of it getting into the wrong hands. Unless you’re a certain Ms. Kardashian, there’s more chance it’ll bring you embarrassment than fame and fortune and what happens if you break up with your partner and the tape still exists? We know how exes can act irrationally when they’re scorned, bitter and heartbroken and if there’s a s*x tape in the mix, there’s no guessing the amount of upset it could cause. Never let your partner pressure you into starring in a rude tape and you’ll never have to face the panic if it all goes wrong.
Never feel pressured into having or not having children
Mmm, children – not something you can really compromise on, is it? “You vacuum tonight and we’ll try for babies tomorrow.” “No babies for us, but I’ll treat you to the cinema instead.” In scenarios where views on important life decisions are completely opposite, it may be time to end the relationship and find someone who has similar plans for the future as you. Some couples simply don’t want children and others want nothing more than a bundle of joy but when you get a person from each camp, it’s not something that can really be changed.
Never feel pressured into altering your weight
With the media being peppered with celebs that morph from curvy to thin on a daily basis, sometimes we feel like the ones who need a reality check. The truth is though, it’s important not to feel like these celebs are people you should base your own life on and, if your partner is urging you to transform into their favourite pin-up, remind them that you are a human – not an airbrushed magazine photograph. Maybe your other half prefers you with more meat on your bones? As long as you’re happy and healthy, never let your partner dictate what you should look like. Any lover worth being with will love you for who you are.
Never feel pressured into moving away
You and your other half on your own in the real world? Ooh, romantic! Don’t be fooled by the dreamy facade of moving in together though; as soon as those rose-tainted glasses come off and you’re settling into a new job, finding new friends and going to sleep in a place far from home, it may not be all it’s cracked up to be. If you and your partner are both up for the big move, then congratulations! If not, don’t cave into any pressure because you’ll end up resenting your other half if it all goes wrong…
Never feel pressured into changing your appearance
While we can all benefit from a little advice from our other half from time to time, if you’re more of a demure and sweet Jennifer Anniston and he’s trying to revamp you into a bold and feisty Lady Gaga, it’s time to put your foot down. While telling you that a bold accessory will make your outfit pop or that a different hairstyle flatters your face better is usually valuable advice, if your other half is trying to change your whole image then there’s a good chance they should be with someone who fits their prototype and you should continue to shine like the star you are!
Never feel pressured into saying “I love you”
Don’t feel that you should say those three little words just because it’s what your other half wants to hear. Once the ‘L bomb’ has been dropped, there’s no going back on your word. What if you still don’t love your other half 12 months down the line? You can’t keep telling someone you love them if it’s not how you truly feel. No matter how much your partner may say they want to hear it, never cave in and make this confession just because you feel pressured – only say it if you really mean it!
Never feel pressured into buying a house together
You’re perfectly content living with your housemates/parents/other family members (delete as applicable) but your partner wants a cute cottage with a picket fence? Don’t we all! While the temptation of getting your own place together may be intense, only go ahead with the idea if you’re 100 per cent sure that this is what you want. Living with the one you love is a great experience, but if you’re heart’s not in it and you suddenly change your mind, a mortgage normally means you’re left with a pretty hefty sum to pay off for something you were pressured into…
Never feel pressured into marriage
Marriage isn’t something you can do on a whim. Are you ready to share decisions on everything from meals to furniture? Are you ready to commit to spending the rest of your life with this person? If the answer’s yes, then go for it. If it’s something that you’re doing to stop your partner from nagging, don’t go through with it because it won’t end well and, let’s face it, it’s a pretty expensive thing to be pressured into if your heart’s not in it.
Never feel pressured into lending large sums of money
While we’re not suggesting that you keep all your money to yourself and never treat your other half, lending large sums of money to your partner is dodgy territory. Sure, they’ve promised to pay you back, but what’s to say they’re not going to lose their job and have no money for a long time? Or that you’ll break up and never see the money again? While all circumstances are different, never lend a large sum of money to your partner if you’re not 100 per cent sure it’s what you want to do.
Never feel pressured into staying with your partner
If it ever comes to a stage in your relationship where one member of a couple isn’t happy while the other is perfectly content, it’s important not to stay with that person just because it works for them. Sounds pretty straightforward, right? With an estimated six out of 10 adults in a relationship they aren’t happy with, though, it’s no surprise that many of us are feeling pressured into staying in an unhappy relationship. Never let your other half blackmail you into staying with them.Breaking up is hard – no one ever said it was easy. But sometimes one door has to close for another (much happier) one to open.