You’ve shared romantic desserts and laughed at each other’s jokes until your ribs hurt, but you didn’t realize that the person you’re fond of doesn’t share your vision of a big white wedding and lots of children. Exit the butterflies and enter the empty heart. To avoid such situations arising, we’ve put together a list of 10 things you need to know about the person you’re dating before you get too attached. Here goes…
What your date is looking for
Long term lover or a summer fling? It’s always a good idea to make sure you’re both on the same page in terms of what you’re looking for from the dating scene. If you’re looking for a long term relationship and your date starts gushing over how much they’re going to miss you when they move back home to the other side of the world, we sense a broken heart.
It may sound like an obvious dating topic, but never underestimate the importance of finding out what your date enjoys doing. You don’t want to fall head-over-heels for someone who spends most of their time travelling when there’s nothing that bores you more than the idea of testing out new cultures. Plus, the line “so, what do you enjoy doing?” is a great conversation starter if you find yourself in the middle of an awkward silence.
Find out what makes each other tick. Does your dating buddy like going on wild nights out twice a week? Perhaps they need a night alone once a week to help them feel revitalized? Once you’ve unearthed the key to each other’s contentment, you’ve got a better chance of merging your lives together in the happiest, healthiest way possible.
A potential new love interest probably isn’t going to admit to their embarrassing bathroom habits or the fact that their ex dumped them because of their unrelenting snoring. There’s still no harm in asking though. Are they a smoker? Do they like to gamble? Are they a big drinker? Ask your dating partner outright what they think their bad habits are, watch them squirm, and then decide if you can live with it.
We’re not suggesting that you start asking your date how much they get in their pay packet each month, but finding out if they’re a spender or a saver can really help you to make up your mind about someone. One of the most common causes for arguments is money, so it’s worth finding out from the start if your spending habits are different so that you can be prepared…
Talking about family can help you to learn a lot about your date and how they view the world. Are they from a religious family? Do they all have Sunday lunch together or do they rarely see each other? Gaining an insight into what your date’s family are like can help you to learn a lot about your date and gauge whether or not they have a family you’d like to be a part of.
Our friends are an important part of our lives so it’s important that you get along with your date’s pals, and vice versa. How often do they see their buddies? How close are they? By finding out who your date goes to when they’re having a bad day or who their best friend is and what they are like, it can help you to gain heaps of information about your date.
Ambitions and future goals
Is your potential new lover content to live the quiet, relaxing life in the middle of nowhere? Or are they looking for a rough and wild life of adventure? Find out about their future goals and ambitions and see if these match yours. If not, at least you can look elsewhere for someone who you will enjoy your time with after the ‘honeymoon phase’ of your relationship is over.
Find out what your potential new love interest values in life. Do they follow a religion? Do they support any causes? Compatible values form an important part of a healthy and happy relationship. Sometimes differences in values can be worked through and sometimes they just cause arguments! Find out if you have any differences and if you do, decide whether you can live with them or not.
It’s important to find out your dating partner’s key responsibilities before you can progress beyond the boundaries of dating. Do they have children? Do they spend a large amount of time caring for an elderly relative? Once you’ve found out the non-negotiable tasks that they must dedicate some of their time to, you can decide whether you are able to fit in with these responsibilities or not.