Failed relationships are hard. They can leave you feeling sad, angry and, sometimes, they can leave you thinking that you have just been wasting your time and that it’s you who is the failure. That’s why most people’s first reaction to a failed relationship is to blame themselves and, to ask ‘where did I go wrong?’ It’s very hard to put a positive spin on a break up, but you can turn it into a more positive experience by looking at what you have learned from it. Here we look at ten of the important lessons that you can learn from failed relationships:
1. People are not possessions
Loving and then parting, shows us that, however much we care for a person, we can never own them and no one can ever own us. People do tend to fall into the feeling of ownerships of their partner and they forget that partner still has choices.
2. You can discover the importance of you
A failed relationship also helps to teach you the importance of remembering that you are an individual and that you can be as strong on your own, as when you are in a relationship. It serves as a reminder that no one is defined merely by their relationships.
3. You can’t change who people are
In any relationship, you have to love a person for who they are and not what you think you can make them. Failed relationships can help you understand this better. Whether that be through your learning that you couldn’t change your partner, or through understanding better, that you can’t change yourself.
4. Infatuation doesn’t make a relationship
There is a very big difference between love and lust. Although, quite obviously, not applicable to all relationships, many relationship fail, because once the initial infatuation has worn off, there is very little of any real substance left.
5. You learn how to let go gracefully
As hard as it may seem at the time, sometimes it is best to just let go, when a relationship clearly isn’t working. Failed relationships teach you that letting go gracefully, and with your dignity intact, is far better than desperately clinging on to a sinking ship.
6. It teaches you that overanalysing a situation achieves nothing
We’ve all been through broken relationships and we’ve probably all been in the situation where we spend hours and hours trying to work out where things went wrong. We all learn though, that no amount of analysis will change what has happened and that there probably is no one simple answer to the question, ‘why?’, anyway.
7. It can make us rethink our priorities
Failed relationships can also make us think hard about what our priories in life really are. This can work in a number of different ways and, while some people might have to rethink how much time they devote to work, others might wonder if they place too much importance on being in a relationship. It can help you to focus on the things that are really important to you.
8. It teaches us that happiness comes from within
Many people think that the only way to happiness is to be in a relationship. But, when a relationship fails, they learn that this is not true. You find that you can be just as happy on your own, as you were with your former partner. You really do make your own happiness.
9. You learn to be more resilient
You also learn that no amount of screaming, shouting or crying will solve a problem. A failed relationship helps us to take the rough, as well as we take the smooth, and it teaches us that we can survive the bad times.
10. It teaches us to never take anything for granted
Through failed relationships we also learn to be grateful for what we have. All too often, people take their relationships for granted and fail to put in the effort that is required to make them work. This one is a painful lesson to learn, but one you won’t forget again.
What other lessons failed relationships can teach?