Deciding to get a place of your own with your partner is a big step. It can raise several concerns, particularly for those who are used to living alone. To make things stress-free and to ensure a smooth transition, remember these 10 top tips.
Respect each other’s need for space
Whether you’re moving from your family home, a shared house with friends or a place of your own, you will probably be used to being able to have time and space to yourself whenever you need it. However, just because you are moving in with your partner, that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your “me time” completely. Everyone needs time to themselves from time to time, so don’t be afraid to ask for it. Let your partner know in a gentle and loving way when you need some time alone to relax, and be sure to give your partner the same consideration and space when they need it.
Share the load
It’s no news that one of the most common things for a couple to argue about is household chores and responsibilities. Particularly if this is the first time you have lived independently, it can come as a shock when you realize just how much upkeep there is in running a home. The fairest way to cope with this burden is to halve chores. There are bound to be tasks you hate equally, but you will also find that there are certain responsibilities you naturally assume. It’s the twenty first century – cooking and cleaning aren’t just for women.
Plan a fun night
Particularly during the first few weeks of living together things can get stressful, what with all the unpacking, setting up energy providers and filling in forms. Even once you have lived with one another for a while, it’s a good idea to arrange one night a week where you forget the chores and the bills and just enjoy each other’s company. Whether it’s a DVD night after cooking a meal together or you go out for some drinks, it’s important to make time for the main reason you chose to live together.
Help each other clear out
Before you move in there will be oodles of organising to do. To avoid bringing everything including the kitchen sink to your new place, it’s wise to have a clear out. This can be a stressful and overwhelming task, so set aside a day or two (ideally a few weeks before your moving day) to help each other sort through all the clutter. Make some trips to charity shops, get busy on eBay and recycle the rest. You might also have to sort out the out that you are moving out of as well, this might mean that you need to hire a vacate cleaning company, but this is something that you might want to discuss with your partner.
When you’re in the process of buying or renting a new place to live, there can be so much paperwork involved – even more so if you’re also selling a property. Don’t leave this to one of you to do on your own. All that small print is headache inducing, and there’s a lot of pressure that comes with signing documents. Sharing the responsibility will not only halve the stress, but it also means you’re both clued up on the ins and outs of mortgages, property valuations and legal fees.
The sooner you start making arrangements for your new home together, the better. The more spread out your planning is the less stressful it will be when it comes to moving in with one another, as you can rest assured you have both done the leg work before the pressure was on. Things such as ordering furniture, getting quotes from traders and contacting a building surveyor all take time, and if you need a home loan try a company like GoBear who can help you find the best deal for you. If you’d like to find out more about GoBear visit their website here https://www.gobear.com/ph/lp/home-loans.
Are you feeling nervous about flying the nest? Do you have concerns about the bills or having the responsibility of a mortgage? These are the kinds of things you need to express to your partner to let them know how you’re feeling. Often, they will have similar concerns which you can then share and hopefully halve and work around together.
It’s likely that you won’t agree on absolutely everything – which is a good thing; after all, opposites attract! Remember this before you get carried away in the home department buying home accessories that you love but that aren’t quite up your partner’s street. Always try your best to meet in the middle with your style ideas when you’re choosing wallpaper, furniture and appliances, as it’s not just your home.
Accept each other’s habits
Being someone’s partner and living with them are two separate things. Until you share a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen with someone you might not be aware of their habits. No one is perfect and we all have bad habits – even if we don’t realize it ourselves. The best thing you can do when you first move in with your girlfriend or boyfriend is to be as tolerant as you can of their flaws. If there is a habit you simply cannot stand, talk to them kindly about it rather than embarrassing or insulting them.
Saving the trickiest ‘til last… Money can be an awkward topic to talk about, but if you’re moving in with your partner it’s something you can’t avoid discussing. Draw up an estimate of your monthly outgoings then work out a fair amount for you each to pay – contributing in ratio to what you earn is often the fairest way to do it, rather than simply going halves. If you have a joint account already then it’s wise to arrange for your utility bills to be taken from this account, and you each transfer a set amount each month into it, leaving extra for any emergencies such as a broken boiler or some surprise damp.