It’s widely understood but seldom said: Men lovewomen. We do. We love making them laugh. We love their bodies and their smiles. We love the way they dance and the way they walk, and the gracefulness they bring to even the most mundane, everyday chores. We smile when they’re happy and do our best to comfort them when they’re not.
Which probably goes a long way toward understanding how we put up with the crazy things they do. (Why they put up with us, on the other hand, is a total mystery.) So here are 10 things women do that drive us crazy, inspired by my previous thread.
10. STEALS UR FOOD
Na the least of the issue be this. You go carry babe enter restaurant, adjust your eye glasses, look menu finish come order for pounded yam and afang soup. Then you go turn look your babe ask her “Honey, you no go place your own order?” The babe go just bone tell you say her belle dey full. Omo, na so person go dey happy for mind say him go chop tight but that na dream. The moment food land, your babe go come closer to you, look the meat, fish, kpomo, snail and okporoko wey dey the soup. “Honey, are you going to eat those?” She go pick one meat. Next thing na to wash her follow you chop the whole food.
This no be love, na confirm reducing of ration. Make una stop am abeg.
9. ALWAYS LATE
One of my friend and im former babe dey always get this issue. Normally we know say women get their time and e worse past African time. This my friend dey always add like 10 – 30 minutes for him babe so that she go do something quick but she must still delay. If na party, restaurant or Silverbird them wan go, na the same story. Na so this guy come device style o. Him go tell the babe say na 8:00pm be time for movie whereas na 9:00pm.
Well, the babe break up with am. Why? She say him too dey lie. What of her wey dey delay?
8. USES S**х AS A WEAPON
Make una no mind my language abeg. But must women make us beg for our right again? All the isi-ewu, nkwobi, cow tail and bladder wey dem don chop fa? Some babes own self na to allow you swim kpekus only when you do something special. Maybe you buy her the latest Samsung Tablet, if not, O.Y.O for you. Some of them self get the liver to tell you something like this. “If you don’t buy me something for valentine, then I promise you, there will be no show!!!” Chineke, wetin make Valentine gift special abeg.
Men still dey device their own plans sha.
7. SHE CAN’T PUT HER PHONE DOWN
Ladies, we know. We know say una family mean so much to una but na wetin na?? Na so una go just una eyes for phone like say something dey happen wey special inside while we go just dey bed dey toss around. This thing no fair o. Sometimes, we men dey like make una give us that eye to eye contact when we dey yan with una. Oya make we do deal. We no go look that s*xy waitress wey go serve us drink again. Deal? Deal.
6. SHE CAN’T TAKE A COMPLIMENT
Women no just know how to take compliment. Them go begin dey ask everybody if them make sense. After you carry 1 hour rub make-up, wetin you wan know again? Seriously, na only one person compliment suppose matter to una and that na una boyfriend(s).
5. SHE EXPECTS YOU TO READ HER MIND
Why be say una dey expect us to turn to Nostradamus because of una? Una go dey smile one kind smile dey wink for us or dey pinch us. Ah ahn, wetin una want? Una no go ever say. We dey attentive o, loving and caring but seriously, reading of minds na only winch dey do am and we no be winches.
4. SHE GUILTS YOU
We know say all this films dey always portray say make we do everything for our woman. We don watch am and unfortunately, women ma don watch am. Na so them go dey force us to do things wey we no wan do. Na so my babe make me part with my last cash. Wetin be her claim? She talk say I suppose make sacrifice for her since I “claim” say I love her. My people, e fair?
If una never hear am before, I go talk am again. The moment you Bleep up, your babe tell you say “Honey, everything is fine, just go to bed.” Guy, carry you cloth run comot go sleep for your friendhouse. Women sabi pretend until something don reach cataclysmic level before them go do you bad. A word, oyibo say dey enough for the wise.
2. SHE HOLDS GRUDGES
This one go hand and leg with the number 1 of this thread o. The moment you carry wrong answer give her for question, or you do something wey she no like or you say something, hhhun. Even if na before una start to dey date, before una marry or when una just marry, wahala dey oo. Just know say she go dey remind you that eff up all your life.
1. ENTRAPPING QUESTION
“Do I look fat in this?” “Is my friend Amara pretty?” “If I ended up in a wheelchair would you still love me?” All of us know this question. Na the answer go determine wetin you go hear and wetin you no go hear. Seriously, women go just use innocent question make you trap yourself. Kai, na so one of my babe those days tell me say one other girl dey eye me. Na quick quick I go burst kpekus. I no ever know say na plan. Well, I single now sha.