1) He Doesn’t Talk About Getting Married
This one should be obvious but if he isn’t even broaching what-if’s or rhetorical questions of how it would it would be if the both of you tied the knot, then he’s probably not planning to get married to you-at least anytime soon.
Before you order that moving truck, make sure that he doesn’t bring up marriage because he’s never thought about it or perhaps because it’s usually the woman who tends to broach the subject most of the time. Some men do require more prodding an convincing than others, so it’s up to you to make sure if whether or not he actually wants marriage and hasn’t brought it up or is simply complacent about it.
On the other hand, there are the types who don’t bring up matrimony and do not care to continue to discuss it, even after you’ve given him clues. One way to tell is if you ask a question about marriage and he gives you a short, snarky answer. Perhaps you bring it up in casual conversation, then he quickly changes the subject. This is how you’ll know if he’s simply not ready or he just doesn’t want it to be you.
2) Marriage Isn’t a Priority
Sometimes it’s a good idea to get all of your things in order before getting married, such as making sure that he or she is the one, certain finances and debts are out of the way and other pre-marital issues. For some couples, marriage isn’t priority and both people are happy.
It’s also the way that he reacts to the topic of marriage that should give you pause. If he is enjoying his bachelor lifestyle then you should move on. There’s not reason to stick with someone that you hope to marry someday, yet they thing otherwise.
Marriage means being “tied down” to some men some years down the road, their opinions change for the better. However, if his idea of marriage is the “ball and chain” version, do you really want to have to feel like you dragged him down the aisle? He should find it a privilege to be your husband.
3) You Haven’t Met His Relatives
It’s normal for a couple to not meet the parents until the relationship has been established, but not after 2+ years of being together. If the two of you are going on year 5 and all you’ve heard was a mere “hello” from his mother on the phone, then this is pretty much all you’re going to get out of the relationship.
People who are in love want their significant other to be part of the family. Normally this includes meeting said family members-in person. So if you find yourself alone, with girlfriends, or your own family over the duration of important holidays and events then look forward to being left in the dark about everything as the long as you two are an item.
4) He Has No Interest In Your Future Plans
Usually when a guy is interested in you, he wants to get to know more about you. Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that is the be all end all to getting to know each other. The point of being in one is so that the two of you can experience challenges, problems, face the world and grow together. Perhaps your dream is to become a surgeon, well he should be ecstatic at the thought of you passing your MCAT exams.
On the other hand, if he doesn’t seem to show the slightest interest in your dreams and passions then he isn’t interested in getting to know you better. It’s better to get rid of and find someone that actually wants to hear what you have to say.
Of course, don’t dump him just because he happens to not be listening lately. Maybe he’s stressed out and his mind is in a fog. However, if this is a regular occurrence and there is no hope for change, then he isn’t the one.
Marriage is a big deal, as it should be. Sometimes we might get cold feet at the prospects of the future, but there is a difference between misgivings between you and your partner and him just flat out being nonchalant about the ideals of longterm commitment. Keep these signs stored in the back of your mind, whenever you and your boyfriend talk about marriage