How often do you hear the ladies complain: “My man never takes me out.” Or how about, “He can’t do anything right.”
The truth is, ladies, it’s probably your fault! Wait! Don’t get pissed. Just read on and take notice of your own actions.
Check it out. From day one, you are the one that sets the precedent on how you will be treated. Take it all the way back to high school. If it was cool for the boy to just come to your crib and watch TV or play video games, then that’s what homeboy now thinks is acceptable. What makes you think that he now thinks that you want to go out?
If he took you to McDonald’s on the first date, then that’s what he will think is acceptable from then on. Plain and simple. Don’t think thathe’s going to graduate anytime soon to Chez Fancy Food after you’ve made it clear you’ll accept a meal off the dollar menu.
Actually, we need to go back to pre-date. And this applies to young folks as well as the grown and sexy. So you like this guy. Take the time to check out more than his six-pack (abs, not beer!) and award-winning smile. How does he dress? Does he take pride in being clean, pressed and fashionable? Is his hair combed? If he takes care of himself, he will want a lady who does the same. And that shows he has a sense of pride.
Who does this cat hang out with? Does he go to school or have a job? Does it look like he has goals and ambition? Take stock of a future with him. If he doesn’t work, looks like a clown and hangs with other losers, well, he probably is a loser.
So you two start exchanging looks and smiles and conversations (please talk, don’t just text!). And one day he says, “So, do you want to go out some time?”
Stop! Wait! Think! Take your time. Yeah, you can leave him in suspense for a minute. And then… set the precedent now! Your answer should be something like this, “What did you have in mind?”
If he says, “I thought we could hang out at your place, play Grand Theft Auto and, you know, get to know each other,” bells should start to go off in your head. That translates into: “I don’t want to pay for a real date, my X-Box is broken and I want to see how far you will go.”
That should not be cool with you. If you want someone who is interested in spending a few bucks to show you a nice time and respect you, then put your foot down, both of them… now. Because guess what – if he really wants to go out with you, he will find a way to give you a proper date.
He may be cute and handsome, but those things do not buy flowers, take you to a real restaurant for dinner or show you that he is genuinely interested in you as a person, not just a lovely body.
But he’s so hot! But guess what? He won’t think that you are so hot if you make it easy for him!
So you ask, where do I go to meet quality people? I think you may be surprised at the answer. Church is definitely an option. Lord knows there are lots of respectable men following the path of the Lord. However, there are other options available to meet good guys.
Try volunteering at a charity. Think about it. In Atlanta, for example, there is a huge feed-the-hungry program that draws thousands of people for the holidays, such as Christmas and Thanksgiving. Lots of corporate executives and even celebrities volunteer at these events.
Yes, quality men can be found behind the scenes scooping out mashed potatoes, cutting turkey and slicing pecan pie! And there you are… a quality guy as well as someone showing compassion and love for his fellow human beings.
Any man (or woman for that matter) that volunteers his time is probably a great candidate for a potential life partner.Volunteering shows he has compassion and ambition. Yes, ambition. This is a person willing to give up free time to make the world a better place.
Sharing and giving are Godly qualities. Don’t be surprised to find people who willingly share and give to be God-loving people. And there you go… you are now playing to win!