Romantic movies, books and friends fill our heads with romantic myths and then we get disappointed when our fairytale notion of love does not live up to our expectations. Here we debunk some of the biggest romance myths and tell you the real truth that lies behind these 10 common romantic sayings.
All is fair in love and war
Whoever made this saying famous did us no favours This huge romantic myth is terrible and is only ever tossed about when people have treated us badly and are looking for an excuse to validate their behavior, even though there is no excuse and this a lousy way to try and escape the blame they deserve.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
We’ve all heard someone say this before and although for some people distance can be a good thing, the reality of a long-distance relationship is hard work, lonely nights and a bucket load of worry. Being away from the person you love is never going to be easy, yet this romantic myth tries to sugarcoat the challenge to make it sound positive.
The first year of marriage is the hardest
Married life can be tough, but how many people do you know that have filed for a divorce in the first year? Not many, unless you count the celeb A-listers amongst ‘people you know’. Although we’re not saying the first year of marriage isn’t hard, is it really the hardest? Chances are the truly tough times come much later in life when money, health and family related stresses take their toll on couple life.
Love at first sight
Sparks flying across the room, heart beating in your chest, knees knocking – it’s the stuff of fantasy surely? Well, although it might sound like clichés from a romantic novel the attraction and lust phase of love is real and there are physical ‘symptoms’ associated with these stages, such as losing your appetite. Yet, lust should not be confused with love and this romantic phase definitely mistakes attraction for falling head over heels in love.
This romance myth is normally said by a kind friend who wants to give you hope when you’re after someone you’re not suited to. Yet, a recent study suggests that this romantic phrase holds little truth and that actually people are attracted to people who are similar to themselves and who are in a similar league of attractiveness.
Love is blind
Okay, so we know that sometimes love can make us do things we might not normally do, but if you gain 100 pounds or lose three teeth, chances are your partner won’t be happy and they won’t be as attracted to you. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that your partner will love you no matter what and do your best tokeep in shape.
Treat them mean, keep them keen
Treating people mean and keeping them keen may sound like a great way to make someone like you, but what happens next when they do fall for you? You’re left with someone who might not trust you and someone who might always be waiting for you to be cruel again. If you follow this method to make people like you you’re destined for doomed relationships.
Kisses on a text tells you how they feel
The amount of kisses the person you like puts onto a text does not indicate how they feel about you and you should never use this as a way to analyse your relationship. Some people are kiss happy and even scatter their work emails with xoxo, whilst other people are more reserved. If you want to really know how the person you like feels about you you’re going to have to be big and brave and ask them.
Once a cheater, always a cheater
Cheating is not excusable, but if you think that in your situation your partner deserves your forgiveness then remember that just because they did it once does not mean they will do it again. Although this doesn’t mean they definitely won’t cheat on you again, if you want to move forwards with one another you have to learn how to trust them again and you can’t do this if you believe this romantic myth.
Healthy couples don’t argue
Blazing rows and furious fights don’t sound like the ingredients for a healthy relationship, but arguing and disagreeing are a part of every couple’s lives and to argue does not mean you are in an unhealthy relationship. Obviously arguing all the time is bad and if you seem to bicker regularly it might be time to sit down and talk things through, but heated discussions are a part of life and can release built up frustrations – just make sure you make up before you go to sleep.